Nov. 30
- A few months ago while wading through
a ton of unsolicited messages, one caught my eye: It turned out that
several women in my neighborhood were lonely and neglected by their
husbands, and had joined an online "cheating wives club."
In an effort to end their
unfulfilment, they were
using the power of the Internet to find love. This made me exceedingly
curious about whom it might be, as all my neighbors seemed to have happy
marriages.
Could it be that Mrs. Nelson isn't exactly a happy
homemaker, or Mrs. Bunker is on the prowl? Maybe that cute blonde Mrs.
Keaton is a tigress at heart.
I didn't click that particular link for a number of
reasons. In the first place, there is my own marriage to consider. My
wife seems to have lost the spirit of adventure and drew the line when I
wanted to get a fifth dog.
And I'm not sure she always told the truth when we
were dating. When she said she liked "classical music," I
thought she meant early Beatles.
Still, things don't always work out as promised, so
you need to adapt. Besides, cheating on your spouse is one of those bad
decisions you can't un-make.
Then, we have the dumb criminal factor. That is, if
you were going to cheat on your spouse, why would you use the Internet
to make it happen? This advice follows the same slimy morality advice
that it's OK to lie, but don't put it in an e-mail.
There are two reasons to not behave badly: because it
is wrong and because you can get caught. People who use the Internet to
line up assignations obviously don't care about either.
Which leads to the main flaw of this
"service." If a woman is so inclined to cheat on her husband,
presumably behind his back, why would she go online in order to
advertise this? I realize that every relationship looks different from
the outside, but I don't know many guys who could survive the
embarrassment and insult of a wife who advertised online to find a cheat
partner.
So, like any husband who doesn't want to devastate his
wife, shatter his family or turn his own life upside down, I ignored the
message.
Or did I? A few weeks later I received a notice that
read simply, "Dear Online Cheating Wife User. (3) ladies have
responded to you for your date. You can begin your date with any of
these (3) individuals by clicking below. Have Fun!"
This is where it crossed the line from irritation to
malice. Any technically unsophisticated wife who read this message in
her husband's e-mail might trust him a little less, even though he had
done nothing wrong.
Since that kind of trust isn't an issue in our home, I
clicked on the link; out of curiosity. Here's the place where I would
find my own wife and we'd have a hot date, if life were like "The
Pina Colada Song."
Instead there is an unhappier ending. These links lead
to unrepentant porn sites, pictures of women who disrobe for a dollar.
Another e-mail trap, from people who are out to take your money and
appeal to the worst in you. There ought to be a law.
