Until Death Do You Part
March 9th, 2007 by The BabeDEAR MARGO: The love of my life recently passed away. Now I need to know how to handle a situation with his widow. (Yes, he was married.) While we were seeing each other, she had reasons to suspect he was cheating and did enough research to connect my name to him, and even came and questioned me.
Per his wishes, I denied the affair and provided logical explanations for the various “evidence” she had. I think she wanted to believe me (us), but I know she was never 100 percent convinced.
Now that he’s gone, I would prefer that she continue in ignorance of his indiscretions, but I know that sooner or later she will come across a collection of letters, notes, poems, trinkets and treasures that will undeniably confirm her suspicions.
I thought about sending a card that says I had lied to her before, but I am now ready to answer her questions openly and honestly if she still wants the answers. But I would hate to seem as if I’m “rubbing it in” during her time of grief.
Should I wait some period of time before I send it, or should I forget it altogether and wait for her to come to me when she discovers the collection?
— DEAD MAN’S MISTRESS IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR DEAD: You seem pretty sure there’s “a collection.” He may not have kept a thing. In any case, do not make the first move. This woman may never get in touch with you.
And if she does, let your gut tell you whether or not you want to give her all this food for thought, or protect your love in death as you did in life.
— MARGO, THOUGHTFULLY
