Suspicious spouse should avoid jumping to conclusions
March 11th, 2007 by The Babe
Dear Ellie: My husband of 10 years recently hired a female employee whom he’s known for several years; she’s supposedly good at her job. He knows a lot about her and has great sympathy for her foster-home background and her disabled daughter. Although I don’t have any smoking gun to prove he’s been cheating, I’m suspicious. I know she’s interested in him. He gets very upset if I voice my concerns. I don’t want to break up my marriage over an imagined threat, but I don’t want to be played for a fool.
Suspicious In Chicago Dear Suspicious in Chicago: Don’t play detective. You’ll be the bigger fool if you destroy your marriage through jealousy, without cause. Instead of sniffing for smoke, explain to Mr. Nice Guy that you feel discomfort about their new closeness. You appreciate his compassion towards this woman, but feel he may be sending misleading signals. If he continues to stay close to her and avoids discussion, tell him it’s unacceptable in a partnership and you’ll have to conclude he’s deceiving you. Couples’ counseling would then be the best chance for you two to explore why this outsider has been able to create this gap.
