Americans Canadians May Share Views on Cheating
June 16th, 2010 by The Babe-
One in three Canadians say they’ve had an affair, with Ontarians and Quebecers the most likely to have stepped out on a partner (36% and 34% respectively).
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Married men are much more likely to have cheated than married women (13% vs. 8%) although when it comes to having a physical relationship with someone else who is married, the genders are nearly neck and neck.
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More than half of Canadians believe everyone thinks about cheating at some point.
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Over a third of Canadians figure cheating doesn’t mean a lack of love for one’s partner, while 18% of Canadians think cheating once can actually be positive for a relationship.
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Quebeckers are especially forgiving, or at least understanding, of infidelity – 53% of respondents in La Belle Province said cheating on someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them, and 28% said a one-off affair can actually be beneficial to the relationship.
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A startling 40% of Canadians say they know they were cheated on at some point
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Only 13% of Canadians think being unhappily married but staying together for the kids’ sake is
justification for cheating. -
Apparently getting back at a cheating spouse is only a reasonable excuse for 18% of those surveyed.
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Four in five of Canadians would confront their significant others if they suspected them of cheating.
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60% of Canadians would check their credit card statements or phone bills for evidence, and nearly half of Canadians would go so far as to follow their partners to see where they were wandering to.
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If amateur private eye activities unearthed evidence of an affair, 50% would confront their partners with the proof and talk about it (with women being more likely to take this approach than men).
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Two out of five Canadians would ask if their partner was cheating and give him or her a chance to come clean before they waved the evidence in their face..
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29% would end the relationship then and there
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43% of Canadians would keep our options open and try to work it out.
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Only 10% of Canadians would automatically forgive our partner’s transgressions.
Ultimately forgiving the spouse or partner could depend on the nature of the affair.
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Nearly two thirds of Canadians would find our significant other having an affair with our best friend the hardest to forgive
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28% said it would be most difficult if it was someone at work
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One in four thought an ex would be the biggest blow.
And if their partners did “fess up”, what then?
When we seek out that old boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook, are we innocently checking in to see how that person’s life is going? Or are we secretly hoping for a confidential hookup?
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77% of Canadians admit that we’ve been in contact with someone we used to be in a relationship with, though it’s nearly split down the middle when it comes to the number of Canadians who initiated the contact and those of Canadians who found ourselves on the receiving end of an ex reaching out.
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Just over half of Canadians figure Facebook and other social networking sites are the best way to
re-establish contact with a previous partner, -
only 10% of Canadians think looking up an former flame is a big no-no.
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two out of five of Canadians would be willing to chat with an ex-lover because we might be able
to become friends again. -
Another two out of five would exchange cursory updates but not try to carry on communication.
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Folks in British Columbia. were much more open to the idea of being friends with an ex (53%) than those in Saskatchewan and Manitoba (35%), while Quebecers were the most likely to say a firm “non!” – what’s in the past is in the past.
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In general, they found women are more likely to think that reconnecting with a past lover is a bad idea.
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A full third of those surveyed believe that all this talk of being friends with exes is baloney, and the only reason former flames try to open lines of communication is to re-establish a romantic relationship.
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Nearly two-thirds of Canadians would never get back together with an ex,
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one in five Canadians pine for the one that got away, and would do anything to re-ignite a specific previous relationship.
Technorati Tags: Canadians, Canadian, affair, cheating, infidelity, cheating spouse
Keep It In Your Pants In Kandahar
June 8th, 2010 by The Babe
Recently the commander of Canada’s battle group in Kandahar, Brigadier General Daniel Ménard, was suddenly kicked to the curb and ordered to return to Canada. The unexpected firing, almost certain to end the career of a soldier considered to be on his way to the top of the army, came after his commanding officer received reports that the General was having a sexual relationship with a female member of his staff.
His firing as head of the Canadian Forces in Afghanistan because of his alleged affair — is the first Canadian general officer to be dismissed on the battlefield since the Second World War.
An extramarital affair might not seem a serious issue to those outside of the military. The public is more than willing to forgive transgressions by movie stars, politicians (including presidents) and pro golfers. But it isn’t the extramarital sex (Ménard is married with two children) that poses the problem. It’s that it happened between soldiers, in a war zone.
It turns out that Canadian soldiers in battle are not allowed to have intimate relations of any kind.
That includes kissing, hand-holding and passing naughty notes in the mess tent. Amazingly, the rule applies even if they are married, which Gen. Menard is, although, unfortunately, not to the subordinate he allegedly was having sex with.
The hypothetical scenario behind the military’s banning of relationships amongst soldiers in war zones is simple. One is unlikely to order someone they’re in love with to risk death. Even if the two participants in a relationship are able to set aside their feelings and perform as professionals, others in the unit who know of their relationship might come to doubt that they would be treated fairly
Imagine having to fight a battle with someone who recently dumped you. If ordered by someone who’d just rejected your affections to stay behind and die, might you not be the least bit suspicious as to their motive?
Had Ménard been a low-ranked officer or an enlisted man, caught having an affair with a fellow soldier, it’s possible they would have gotten off with a thorough dressing down from an officer, off the record, and an order to be more discrete about it. But since Ménard was the top man, even though he’d never have faced the decision, from the safety of his headquarters, to send another member of the HQ staff into a minefield, he still had to go. A general cannot be judged by a different standard than the troops he commands.
Would you rather have active-duty soldiers who are actually getting laid or just desperately wishing they were? Someone needs to do a study on proving that celibacy and sexual frustration – actually improves performance in battle or any other aspect of life.
Technorati Tags: Canada, Kandahar, Daniel Ménard, Canadian Forces, Afghanistan, Canadian, extramarital affair
Another Look At Presidential Candidates Views On Infidelity
May 17th, 2010 by The BabeBased on what we know now – John Edwards / Rielle Hunter Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky scandals and the purported affair between Barack Obama / Vera Baker, I thought you might find interesting to take Another Look At Presidential Candidates Views On Infidelity.
Couric asks
“Whether They Can Understand Voters Who Don’t Feel Comfortable Supporting A Candidate Who Cheated”
Here are some of their responses:
The Question by Katie Couric:
Harry Truman said, quote, “A man not honorable in his marital relations is not usually honorable in any other.” Many people say they don’t feel comfortable supporting someone who’s not remained faithful to their spouse. Why should they?
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Barack Obama
Obama: Why should they not –
Couric: Support someone who isn’t faithful. In other words, people feel uncomfortable. Is that appropriate? Or, you know, how do you feel about that?
Obama: Well, I … you know, I do think that public morality … and private morality are not sum — you know, or not equivalent. You know, we — some of our greatest presidents haven’t always been terrific husbands. And some who have been wonderful husbands have been rotten presidents.
So, you know, I think that other countries have typically taken a little more casual on approach when it comes to the personal lives … of elected officials. And I think that there has to be some space for privacy. I will say this.
I do think that I’m very proud of the relationship I’ve got with Michelle, and the work and the value that I’ve put into it. And I hope it does say something about my character, the strength of my marriage. But, you know … if I was — had a wonderful marriage but didn’t have good ideas in terms of providing health care for every American or repairing the damage that’s been done to our foreign policy by George Bush, then my marriage alone shouldn’t qualify me … for being president.
Couric: Should infidelity qualify someone, or should infidel …
Obama: Disqualify.
Couric: … infidelity disqualify someone?
Obama: You know … I’m very cautious about applying strict moral rules to … or a blanket universal rule to … people. Because, you know, I mean, there are some people who might say that the fact that, you know, I indulged in drugs when I was young, disqualifies me. I mean, there are a lot of ways that you can apply that kind of morality. What I’m always hopeful of is that people are judge our public servants based on their passion, their commitment, their public integrity, how they operate with that public trust. And, you know, if we start getting too sanctimonious about some of these issues then there aren’t going to be that many people who are able or willing to serve.
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Hilary Clinton
Clinton: Well, I can certainly understand why some people would feel that way, and … that is their perfect right to do so. But I think … would be a tough standard for most of American history to be able to meet, when we look at people who have made a big difference in our country.
I think there’s more to someone’s honor and integrity, and to their public service. I think sometimes we confuse the private and the public in ways that are not necessarily useful. So, of course, it’s a deeply personal matter that I take personally. But I think on the public stage, there are a number of people who have represented our country, led our country, accomplished great achievements on behalf of our country who might have some challenges in their personal life, but have made a great contribution.
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John Edwards
Couric: So how important do you think it is in the grand scheme of things?
Edwards: I think the most important qualities in a president in today’s world are trustworthiness, sincerity, honesty, strength of leadership. And certainly that goes to a part of that. It’s not the whole thing. But it goes to a part of it.
Couric: So you think it’s an appropriate way to judge a candidate?
Edwards: Yeah. But I don’t think it’s controlling. I mean, I think that, as you point out, there have been American presidents that at least according to the … stories we’ve all heard, that were not faithful, that were in fact good presidents. So I don’t think it controls the issue. But I think it’s certain … something reasonable for people to consider.
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John McCain
McCain: You know … that’s an area that I never get into. Because I think that people make judgments, and you can judge other people. I’m not very good at that. And so, I think it’s up to each person’s personal view of the individual, and … everybody has a different view.
I say that because you and I know that there have been some leaders in American history — latest information about Franklin Delano Roosevelt. I happen to still think that Franklin Delano Roosevelt was an important president at a time in our history when we needed some courage. And so … that’s just frankly, a judgment that I leave to others.
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Bill Richardson
Richardson: Well, I think this is … if you’re — if you’re not faithful to your wife, you’re not faithful to the country, to your ideals. You’re not faithful to the spirit in which Americans trust their political leaders. And they expect them to … have a sense of honor.
Nobody’s perfect. I’ve been married to Barbara for 35 years. We’ve had our differences, our difficulties, but we’ve stayed together. But I think being faithful is … an essential component of any relationship. It’s whether a voter can trust you to … be thinking about the common good as opposed to personal ambition or anything else.
Couric: Do you think infidelity is reason enough not to vote for someone?
Richardson: I don’t think so. I think that, you know, infidelity is … a serious problem in any marriage. But, you know, everybody sins. And it’s whether you’re forgiven, whether you forgive yourself, whether you have faith in God. You know, perfection … is something that politicians, they should not stand themselves for perfection. Nobody’s perfect.
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Mitt Romney
Couric: Well, what do you think of people who base their judgment at least partially on a candidate’s ability to remain faithful to his or her spouse?
Romney: You know, I let people look at me any way they want to. I’m not gonna give advice to the American people in which aspects of a person’s life they look at. After all, the president of the United States is gonna be under a microscope. He will be. The first lady will be. The whole family will be. Every mistake will be open to the world. In some respects, you respect the nation.
In some respects you represent an example to the children of America. So we’re gonna get looked at in all sorts of ways. And I’m not gonna try and counsel the American people as to what to look at. I know they look at my faith, for instance. And I’m happy to have them do so. Some are critical. Some are positive. It’s just part of the package. And take me as … the whole character that I am.
Couric: Do you think that people shouldn’t vote for candidates if they are — commit adultery, for example?
Romney: I think people should be able to do what they want to do. And express their own views when they get into the … voting booth. I’m not gonna tell them how to … do that. And I know that people will, again, take their own counsel.
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Fred Thompson
Couric: Do you think it’s an appropriate way to evaluate a candidate?
Thompson: Everybody’s gotta make up their own mind about that. I think that you can evaluate a candidate any way you want to. It’s a free country. There are a lot of things that go into it. When we elect a president, we’re electing the leader of the free world. We’re facing tremendous challenges ahead. I don’t think we’ve come to terms with the nature of the threats against us, really in terms … of radical Islam and the things we’ve got to do and the threats to the economy with the growing retirement population, things that, of that nature.
So, nobody’s perfect. Everybody has weaknesses and has made mistakes one time or another in life. But everybody’s gotta decide for themselves what they want to consider that go into making up. The leader is going to have to deal with these problems of the country.
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Mike Huckabee
Huckabee: I can. If you violate the promise that you made to the one person on earth to whom you’re supposed to be closest to, and this vow was made in front of your families, your closest friends, and God, and you don’t keep that, then can we trust you to keep a promise that you made to people you don’t even know?
Huckabee: I don’t think it means that a person can’t be a good president. Obviously, there have been some great presidents who had personal issues. I think that’s going to be true of all leaders. Nobody’s perfect. Nobody. Me, anybody else. We all have flaws.
One of the things that I think I’ve learned most about life, particularly from my experience of having been a pastor, is that the people that you think are the best people on earth? Well, they’ve got some secrets sitting in there, about some pretty dark spots.
And the people you think are the dregs of the earth, there’s some qualities there. May not be on the surface, but they’re there. The capacity to make great decisions is not always the same as the capacity to make really good personal decisions.
But it does come to the matter of, I think, whether the general population will trust you, and that if what you’re saying is really true. They may believe that what you do is a good thing. It’s just they don’t, they may not believe that what you say is necessarily the truth.
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Rudy Giuliani
Giuliani: Sure, I can. Absolutely. You know, they look the every single part of us. And the … only thing I can say to people is I’m not perfect, you know? And I’ve made mistakes in my life. And that … not just in that area. In other areas and I try to learn from it. I try to — I feel sorry about them. I try to learn from them so I don’t repeat them.
Sometimes I even repeat them and … you try again. I mean, you … so — I have a, maybe a more generous view of human beings and a more generous view of life. I mean, it comes from growing up as a Catholic. I mean, we’re all sinners. We’re all struggling. We’re all trying hard. We ask for forgiveness, and then we try to improve ourselves again. And I’ve — relate to other people that way. Relate to the world that way.
Technorati Tags: CBS News, Katie Couric, John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, affair, Barack Obama, Vera Baker, Infidelity, Hilary Clinton, American presidents, John McCain, Bill Richardson, Mitt Romney, president of the United States, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckabee, Rudy Giuliani
David Boreanaz From Bones Has Skeletons Of His Own
May 6th, 2010 by The Babe
Handsome David Boreanaz from the TV series, Bones, appears to have a few skeletons in his own closet. A few days ago he admitted to marital infidelities after claims that the woman wanted money to keep quiet.
In 2005, Boreanaz began starring opposite Emily Deschanel on the popular current prime time television series, Bones. Boreanaz has been married to actress and Playmate Jaime Bergman since November 24, 2001
The “other woman” appears to have lawyered up and hired legal bitch Gloria Allred after getting a call from Boreanaz’s attorney. Allred is quoted as saying to RadarOnline.com:
‘Now that Mr. Boreanaz is attacking her, she has decided to tell the story of their relationship, so that the truth will come out.’
Allred said the woman will be telling her story and added:
‘She is not going to be intimidated.’
Technorati Tags: David Boreanaz, TV series, Bones, Playmate, Gloria Allred
Love At 1st Sight Not All It Seems
April 22nd, 2010 by The Babe
A recent survey of 5,000 singles out of the UK indicates just how precarious a relationship can be.
- the baby boomers (the over 50 crowd) apparently cheated on their partners when they were younger more than people under 30 do today
- 75% of single men claim it takes 5 dates over a number of weeks to decide whether or not to get serious
- 80% of single women says it takes 5 dates over a number of weeks to decide whether or not to get serious
- 42% of men who “fell in love at first sight” later unfaithful in a previous relationship.
- 90% said they expected fidelity in their next partner
If the 42% of the men who consider themselves in love within minutes of meeting someone is any indication single men bio’s, it’s obvious they fall in love all too frequently. Fall out of love it seems just as quickly. I think I’ll be passing on the speed dating technique in future.
Technorati Tags: singles, UK, cheated, unfaithful, single men, speed dating
Online Affairs Are The Flavor Of The Season
January 14th, 2010 by The Babe
Remember the time when you had to leave home and hit the bars and clubs to find someone with whom to have a affair. Whether it was a one night stand, a little diversion from your marriage or an attempt to find that special someone, you were required to “make nice” and strut your charms physically.
All that is gone. Now you never have to leave the comfort of your home and online affairs are the ‘flavor of the season’ when it comes to infidelity and extramarital relationships. A recent statistic shows that over 70 million people are actively engaging in online relationships, taking full advantage of the borderless freedom of finding a lover, a date, a spouse in a virtual world.
In a online affair, you can present yourself as you’d rather be, not the way you actually are. You don’t use your real name and you can shave years off your age; you can promote yourself in your job; you can describe interests you only dream about; above all, you can make yourself more interesting.
Somebody pays attention to you. You get to establish an intimacy with someone, by presenting yourself as you probably fantasize yourself to be.
And the pay off? So what makes an affair with an online lover more attractive than a conventional affair?
Somebody pays attention to you. You get to establish an intimacy with someone, by presenting yourself as you probably fantasize yourself to be.
The affair can be had without the risk of running into family members, nosy neighbours, or inquisitive friends. But the real difference today is the convenience, speed and ease with which these affairs can develop. You can spend hours chatting on the net, exchanging sexually explicit mails, and indulging in virtual sex using your webcam. Sometimes this virtual affair can last for months, even years without actually meeting your online lover without having physically met your online lover. Although in the early stages, there’s may be no sex involved, most affairs eventually lead to sexual infidelity through cyber sex or real physical contact.
Technorati Tags: affair, online affairs, infidelity, extramarital relationships, relationships, chatting, virtual sex, infidelity
Adultery Leaves A Trail Of Broken Hearts And Marriages
December 29th, 2009 by The Babe
Adultery was once considered a sin – or at least a secret. Not online. The Internet dating craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as “not so happily married,” “married but that shouldn’t matter” or even, “married but we swing.”
Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married – and recent research by the University of Florida reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.
The Internet became an easy escape for “Barbara,” a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who’s also married – but now sneaking around with Barbara. “We see each other once or twice a week,” she says. “We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal.”
She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. “There was no warmth or any physical affection,” she says glumly. She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn’t want a divorce because of their 7-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad in one of the adult dating sites online.
“I’m not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else’s,” she told The Post. “I just wanted to find someone special I could click with.”
Other women interviewed by The Post say they’ve been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give – but aren’t ready to leave.
“I guess the sex just isn’t what it used to be when we first met,” says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker.
“I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It’s addicting.”
Addiction is something Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center in Greenwich Village, understands all too well.
She’s treated many married and unmarried patients who’ve gotten caught up in Internet lust.
“Its power is almost trance-inducing,” she says. “You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It’s like crack cocaine to sex addicts.”
Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he’s been “swinging” for 23 years.
Before going online, he would post ads in “swinger magazines,” sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting. Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads online.
“While I’m open to a relationship, I’d prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis,” he says.
Alfred’s new online ads generally attract several interested women (“I’m a seller in a buyer’s market,” he says proudly).
He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don’t mind that he’s already spoken for.
Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there’s likely to be someone at home who’s getting hurt.
John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that – his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.
The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com – a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who’ve been hurt by them.
“Chatting is OK, cheating is not,” says LaSage.
“People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs.”
If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, “Bring the issue out into the open,” he says.
“Look out for the warning signs” – like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.
“If you just want a sexual hit, you can masturbate a lot quicker than having an affair,” she says.
“But it’s about gratification. They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately.”
But not every married person who’s gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.
Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.
But that may be just the ticket for a 34-year-old Lower East Side “Rockerdude” who advertises online that he’s hoping to make sweet music with men, women – and anything in between.
“Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship – so be brave,” he writes.
Technorati Tags: Adultery, Internet dating, adult dating, swinger
Cheating Husbands Should Be Afraid Very Afraid
November 22nd, 2009 by The Babe
Phillips & Hundley In Happier TimesAre you having the time of your life with your extramarital affair?.
You may need to be afraid. Very afraid….
ESPN analyst and former New York Mets General Manager Steve Phillips might very well advise the unfaithful husbands in the crowd to take a good look at his recent infidelity scandal.
His extramarital affair with Brooke Hundley (what the fuck were you thinking Steve?) resulted in Ms. Hundley bringing back visions of Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction to every cheating spouse from Alaska to Key West.
Phillips was having an affair with the 22-year-old production assistant. After Phillips ended their relationship the phrase “Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned”, comes to mind.
Check out Hundley’s tactic for getting revenge on Phillips:
- Ms Hundley, sent Phillips’ wife, Marni, a letter describing their relationship — and a birthmark Phillips has on his crotch.
- She drove to Phillips home, parked in their driveway and personally placed the letter in their front door.
- When Marni Phillips wife encountered Hundley on the Phillips’ property returning to her car, Hundley backed into a stone column and drove across their lawn.
- She impersonated a classmate of the Phillips’ 16 year old son, contacted him through Facebook, corresponded with him for weeks, pumping him for details about their family, their daily routine and where they lived.
- She obtained detailed information about the kind of vehicles Phillips’ wife and son drove.
- She apparently went to the Phillips’ oldest son’s football practice
Ms Hundley’s stalking ended up costing Phillips his marriage and his job at ESPN. Are you afraid yet?
Technorati Tags: extramarital affair, ESPN, New York Mets, Steve Phillips, unfaithful husband, infidelity, extramarital affair, Michael Douglas, Fatal Attraction, cheating spouse
In The News – Cheating Wives Club
January 3rd, 2009 by The BabeThe Seattle Times Inbox Column
Online “Cheating Wives Club
By Charles Bermant, The Seattle Times Knight Ridder/Tribune Business News
Nov. 30 – A few months ago while wading through a ton of unsolicited messages, one caught my eye: It turned out that several women in my neighborhood were lonely and neglected by their husbands, and had joined an online “cheating wives club.”
In an effort to end their unfulfilment, they were using the power of the Internet to find love. This made me exceedingly curious about whom it might be, as all my neighbors seemed to have happy marriages.
Could it be that Mrs. Nelson isn’t exactly a happy homemaker, or Mrs. Bunker is on the prowl? Maybe that cute blonde Mrs. Keaton is a tigress at heart.
I didn’t click that particular link for a number of reasons. In the first place, there is my own marriage to consider. My wife seems to have lost the spirit of adventure and drew the line when I wanted to get a fifth dog.
And I’m not sure she always told the truth when we were dating. When she said she liked “classical music,” I thought she meant early Beatles. Still, things don’t always work out as promised, so you need to adapt. Besides, cheating on your spouse is one of those bad decisions you can’t un-make.
Then, we have the dumb criminal factor. That is, if you were going to cheat on your spouse, why would you use the Internet to make it happen? This advice follows the same slimy morality advice that it’s OK to lie, but don’t put it in an e-mail.
There are two reasons to not behave badly: because it is wrong and because you can get caught. People who use the Internet to line up assignations obviously don’t care about either.
Which leads to the main flaw of this “service.” If a woman is so inclined to cheat on her husband, presumably behind his back, why would she go online in order to advertise this? I realize that every relationship looks different from the outside, but I don’t know many guys who could survive the embarrassment and insult of a wife who advertised online to find a cheat partner.
So, like any husband who doesn’t want to devastate his wife, shatter his family or turn his own life upside down, I ignored the message. Or did I? A few weeks later I received a notice that read simply, “Dear Online Cheating Wife User. (3) ladies have responded to you for your date. You can begin your date with any of these (3) individuals by clicking below. Have Fun!”
This is where it crossed the line from irritation to malice. Any technically unsophisticated wife who read this message in her husband’s e-mail might trust him a little less, even though he had done nothing wrong.Since that kind of trust isn’t an issue in our home, I clicked on the link; out of curiosity. Here’s the place where I would find my own wife and we’d have a hot date, if life were like “The Pina Colada Song.”
Instead there is an unhappier ending. These links lead to unrepentant porn sites, pictures of women who disrobe for a dollar. Another e-mail trap, from people who are out to take your money and appeal to the worst in you. There ought to be a law.
Sex And The City
December 16th, 2008 by The BabeLaumann and his staff at the university examined how race and sexual orientation play a role in forming relationships and how multiple sexual partners and jealousy also work into the equation. Among other things, they found that, between the ages of 18 and 59, those surveyed cohabited an average of nearly four years and were married about 18. The rest of the time — an average of about 19 years — they were dating or alone, with no steady companion.
Researchers interviewed 2,114 people in the Chicago area from 1995 to 1997, as well as police officers, clergy and social workers. They also took an in-depth look at neighborhoods with predominantly black, Latino and gay populations.
Divorce was, of course, one of the big reasons so many people were single. But so was the fact that many young people are putting off marriage — sometimes because of school, but also because many are approaching the institution of marriage more warily.
Laumann and his colleagues say markets also are often defined by racial group, neighborhood and sexual orientation.
- Young, upper-income people on Chicago’s north side were more likely to meet their partners at school or work.In Latino neighborhoods, for instance, family, friends and the church played a more important role in forming partnerships among those surveyed.
- Women surveyed were, for instance, less likely to meet a partner through work, church or other “embedded institutions” as they got older — making it more difficult to find someone. Laumann says that may be due, in part, to the fact that men in their 40s often sought women who were at least five to eight years younger.
- Many gay men in the survey focused largely on transactional relationships, while lesbians were far more interested in relational connections.
- Researchers also addressed the issues of multiple partners and jealousy. Overall, 23 percent of men and 31 percent of women said they experienced jealous conflict at some point during their relationships.
- And researchers found that cohabitation resulted in more jealousy — and physical violence — than it did among married couples.
- Men were more likely than women to have more than one sexual partner.
- Among those surveyed, 20 percent of men and 6 percent of women said they’d had sex with at least one other person during their most recent relationship.
“What’s going on now is making the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s pale in comparison,” says Eli Coleman, director of the Program in Human Sexuality at the University of Minnesota. He called Laumann’s work the most comprehensive since that of acclaimed researcher Alfred Kinsey, who surveyed people about sex in the 1940s.
Still, Laumann and his staff found that social services, the church and law enforcement have been slow to address this latest sexual revolution.
For instance, they found no shelters in any of the studied communities for gay domestic abuse victims. And most churches they examined were not good at “giving guidance about how you manage a stable, but non-married relationship,” Laumann says.
“It’s not approved. It’s not talked about,” he says. “Or they just look the other way.”
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