Adultery Leaves A Trail Of Broken Hearts And Marriages
December 29th, 2009 by The Babe
Adultery was once considered a sin – or at least a secret. Not online. The Internet dating craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as “not so happily married,” “married but that shouldn’t matter” or even, “married but we swing.”
Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married – and recent research by the University of Florida reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.
The Internet became an easy escape for “Barbara,” a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who’s also married – but now sneaking around with Barbara. “We see each other once or twice a week,” she says. “We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal.”
She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. “There was no warmth or any physical affection,” she says glumly. She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn’t want a divorce because of their 7-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad in one of the adult dating sites online.
“I’m not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else’s,” she told The Post. “I just wanted to find someone special I could click with.”
Other women interviewed by The Post say they’ve been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give – but aren’t ready to leave.
“I guess the sex just isn’t what it used to be when we first met,” says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker.
“I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It’s addicting.”
Addiction is something Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center in Greenwich Village, understands all too well.
She’s treated many married and unmarried patients who’ve gotten caught up in Internet lust.
“Its power is almost trance-inducing,” she says. “You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It’s like crack cocaine to sex addicts.”
Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he’s been “swinging” for 23 years.
Before going online, he would post ads in “swinger magazines,” sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting. Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads online.
“While I’m open to a relationship, I’d prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis,” he says.
Alfred’s new online ads generally attract several interested women (“I’m a seller in a buyer’s market,” he says proudly).
He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don’t mind that he’s already spoken for.
Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there’s likely to be someone at home who’s getting hurt.
John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that – his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.
The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com – a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who’ve been hurt by them.
“Chatting is OK, cheating is not,” says LaSage.
“People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs.”
If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, “Bring the issue out into the open,” he says.
“Look out for the warning signs” – like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.
“If you just want a sexual hit, you can masturbate a lot quicker than having an affair,” she says.
“But it’s about gratification. They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately.”
But not every married person who’s gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.
Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.
But that may be just the ticket for a 34-year-old Lower East Side “Rockerdude” who advertises online that he’s hoping to make sweet music with men, women – and anything in between.
“Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship – so be brave,” he writes.
Technorati Tags: Adultery, Internet dating, adult dating, swinger
In The News – Cheating Wives Club
January 3rd, 2009 by The BabeThe Seattle Times Inbox Column
Online “Cheating Wives Club
By Charles Bermant, The Seattle Times Knight Ridder/Tribune Business News
Nov. 30 – A few months ago while wading through a ton of unsolicited messages, one caught my eye: It turned out that several women in my neighborhood were lonely and neglected by their husbands, and had joined an online “cheating wives club.”
In an effort to end their unfulfilment, they were using the power of the Internet to find love. This made me exceedingly curious about whom it might be, as all my neighbors seemed to have happy marriages.
Could it be that Mrs. Nelson isn’t exactly a happy homemaker, or Mrs. Bunker is on the prowl? Maybe that cute blonde Mrs. Keaton is a tigress at heart.
I didn’t click that particular link for a number of reasons. In the first place, there is my own marriage to consider. My wife seems to have lost the spirit of adventure and drew the line when I wanted to get a fifth dog.
And I’m not sure she always told the truth when we were dating. When she said she liked “classical music,” I thought she meant early Beatles. Still, things don’t always work out as promised, so you need to adapt. Besides, cheating on your spouse is one of those bad decisions you can’t un-make.
Then, we have the dumb criminal factor. That is, if you were going to cheat on your spouse, why would you use the Internet to make it happen? This advice follows the same slimy morality advice that it’s OK to lie, but don’t put it in an e-mail.
There are two reasons to not behave badly: because it is wrong and because you can get caught. People who use the Internet to line up assignations obviously don’t care about either.
Which leads to the main flaw of this “service.” If a woman is so inclined to cheat on her husband, presumably behind his back, why would she go online in order to advertise this? I realize that every relationship looks different from the outside, but I don’t know many guys who could survive the embarrassment and insult of a wife who advertised online to find a cheat partner.
So, like any husband who doesn’t want to devastate his wife, shatter his family or turn his own life upside down, I ignored the message. Or did I? A few weeks later I received a notice that read simply, “Dear Online Cheating Wife User. (3) ladies have responded to you for your date. You can begin your date with any of these (3) individuals by clicking below. Have Fun!”
This is where it crossed the line from irritation to malice. Any technically unsophisticated wife who read this message in her husband’s e-mail might trust him a little less, even though he had done nothing wrong.Since that kind of trust isn’t an issue in our home, I clicked on the link; out of curiosity. Here’s the place where I would find my own wife and we’d have a hot date, if life were like “The Pina Colada Song.”
Instead there is an unhappier ending. These links lead to unrepentant porn sites, pictures of women who disrobe for a dollar. Another e-mail trap, from people who are out to take your money and appeal to the worst in you. There ought to be a law.
Office Christmas Parties Can Reveal Workplace Affairs
December 18th, 2008 by The BabeGo With Him to the Christmas Party
“It’s no secret that the workplace is the #1 place for cheating husbands and boyfriends to find willing females with whom to have extramarital affairs,” says infidelity expert Ruth Houston, founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and author of Is He Cheating on You?- 829 Telltale Signs.
Houston says, “Workplace infidelity is not always easy to detect. Men commonly use job-related excuses to cover up their extramarital affairs. So if you think he might be romantically involved with someone on his job, attending his office Christmas party with him is one of the best chances you’ll get to find out whether or not what you suspect is true.”
A Rare Opportunity
According to Houston, office Christmas parties and other company-sponsored social events give you a rare opportunity to observe your husband or boyfriend in a social setting with the women he works with everyday.
Houston says, “By watching how he interacts with his female co-workers, you’ll be able to tell without a doubt, whether or not he’s involved in a workplace affair. But knowing what to look for is the key.”
Be Alert for Signs of Infidelity
“Keep your eyes and ears open for signs of infidelity,” advises Houston. “You never know what you might see or hear. Depending on how observant you are, you might even be able to figure out exactly which female he’s cheating with. Nine times out of ten, their body language and behavior around each other will give them away.”
But Houston continues to stress that knowing what to look for is the key.
Tip Sheet Tells What to Look For
To find out what to look for, send for Ruth Houston’s FREE tip sheet entitled “What to Look for at the Office Christmas Party if You Suspect a Workplace Affair.” E-mail InfidelityAdvice @ gmail.com with “what to look for-prw” in the subject line.
About Ruth Houston:
Infidelity expert, Ruth Houston is the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, which documents practically every known sign of infidelity. Frequently called on by the media to comment on popular infidelity issues and infidelity-related breaking news, Ruth has been quoted in the New York Times, the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, Newsday, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Toronto Sun, the National Post, the Christian Science Monitor, First for Woman, City Life, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle, LavaLife, Netscape Love and numerous other print and online media worldwide.
Ruth has been a guest on The Today Show, Good Day New York, Ireland’s Late Late Show, 1010WINS, Sirius Satellite Radio, Telemundo, Court TV Radio, Power Talk Radio, BBC, CBC, CNN and over 270 radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, New Zealand, Australia, and the Caribbean.
Visit www.InfidelityAdvice.com for more information about Ruth Houston, her book, signs of infidelity, cheating men, or extramarital affairs.
You Are Probably Dating A Liar
July 14th, 2008 by The BabeLiar Lair – pants on fire!
Experts say, more than 90 percent of people lie in their online dating profiles. You can’t be shocked at the numbers. After all, what does it hurt to stretch the truth a little? Well sometimes more than a little.
Men tend to lie most about their relationship status. Why else do you think we have so many popular adult dating catering to cheating husbands? They also lie about their income and their education.
On adult dating sites such as Adult Friendfinder you’ll find men lying about the size of their penis. GASP! The lying bastards.
They also lie about their height. This little tidbit has been researched worldwide and it’s a common phenomenon. Usually men overestimate their height by at least an inch. (They must be using the same measuring tape when they give you the size of their penis.)
Because being six feet tall seems to be a benchmark for men, men who are shorter than six feet have a strong desire to present themselves as taller than they really are. But men who are six feet or taller don’t feel the same need to lie. Men who are 5′11″ only lie by one inch, but men who are 5′10″ will sometimes lie by two inches so they can hit that magical six foot mark.
Women Are Liars Too!
We’re not letting the single women off the hook. Their biggie is lying about their weight. The ladies tend to deduct more weight depending on their age. For the 20 something crowd five pounds will do. Once the women hit the magic 30 or 40 mark they’re liable to deduct up to fifteen pounds. Many online dating services are now changing the way they handle the issue of weight, asking for a general body type (i.e. thin, athletic, a little overweight, etc.) instead of an actual weight.
You won’t be shocked to find out that the majority of women online are lying about their age. Usually they’re only taking off a few years.
Women don’t tend to lie about their relationship status they way men do. All in all (except for the weight issue) they tend to be more honest.
So what have we discovered. Not only do men and women lie about their marital status, it appears they lie about everything else too. Keep the lights off in the bedroom
Find Yourself A Secret Lover!
Technorati Tags: online dating, relationship, adult dating, cheating husbands, penis, single women, online dating services
Online Cheating Can Get Your Balls Cut Off
March 30th, 2008 by The BabeSo cheaters beware!
Technorati Tags: cheating, Extramarital affairs, Online cheating
Online Flirting Or Cheating Husband?
May 23rd, 2007 by The BabeRecently I was using my husband’s laptop and was able to view his e-mail account. I know I should have respected his privacy. I found out that he sent two electronic Valentine’s Day cards to two ex-girlfriends. The card says he missed their conversations and was thinking about them.
One woman wrote back to my husband instructing him to not contact her again because she is in a serious relationship and does not want to communicate with “single men.”
I am bothered by this revelation because it shows that my husband has not revealed to these women that he is married. When I confronted him, he was angry at me for reading his e-mails. He also insisted that he has done nothing improper. He said that he has not contacted those women in years, and the cards were just to stay in touch with them. He says I am overreacting.
I am pretty sure that my husband is not physically cheating on me. However, I am still very bothered by this. Am I overreacting?
Bothered in Los Angeles
Dear Bothered: This incident could be a gift to your marriage, but only if you use it to deepen your intimate understanding of each other. You can’t do this by avoiding and ignoring. You do it by drilling into the heart of your union and talking about things, even when it’s painful to do so.
Husbands and wives sometimes reach a point in the relationship when they daydream about previous relationships, wondering “what might have been.” The Internet makes it almost too easy to reach out.
After 12 years together, you and your husband have entered the grand and challenging “adolescence” of your relationship. Invite him into counseling with you so that you can explore your feelings and frustrations in a supportive environment.
Cheating husband hid wife’s body
January 12th, 2007 by The BabeAn unfaithful husband who strangled his wife and fled with her body in his car boot has been sentenced to a minimum of 16 years.
Wealthy businessman Derek Symmons, 63, strangled his wife of 38 years, 59-year-old Christine, in the hall of their £1 million home in Loudwater, Hertfordshire.
He attacked her when she taunted him about being impotent and insulted the memory of his dead mother hours after they had been to a marriage counselling session. 
She had just discovered the father-of-two had been cheating on her with 52-year-old teacher Myra Croney who he met through an internet dating agency. He then bundled her body, wrapped in polythene, into the boot of their BMW before catching a cross-Channel ferry to Calais and driving to Macon in central France.
He only confessed to the murder when his daughter Claire phoned him the following day worried about her mother’s safety. He told her : “I’ve done something terrible. You’ll never forgive me.”
During the trial at St Albans Crown Court, Symmons claimed he acted in self-defence when his wife attacked him over his affair. But judge Michael Baker, QC, said he had rejected his evidence as a “web of deceit”, adding: “You painted yourself as a loving husband, cut to the quick by your wife’s taunts about your mother and your claimed impotence.
“Whatever your sensitivity on these matters, the reality is you were conducting an affair at the time and, even after your wife found out about it and you had begged to be forgiven, you had no real intention of stopping it.
“You killed your wife in an impulsive act when, uncharacteristically, she stood up to you.
“Nothing she said or did justified any violence on your part, let alone the extreme and savage beating and strangling you meted out to her.”
The judge went on: “Your conduct after the event was calculated, cold- hearted and callous.
“Instead of immediately ringing for the emergency services as any contrite man would have done, you wrapped your wife’s body in polythene and concealed it in the boot of your car.
“You took steps to clear the scene of incriminating clues, you cashed some money at a hole in the wall in the early hours, you went briefly into work, and you drove to France.
“I reject completely your claim that you did not know what you were doing.
“You only stopped trying to escape when your daughter rang and asked where her mother was. It was only then that the spark of humanity returned to you and you realised that you could not keep up the charade.”
Symmons, wearing a black suit and white shirt, showed no emotion as he was jailed for life.
During the three-week trial the court heard that by the summer of last year the couple’s marriage was in deep trouble.
Mrs Symmons, a hairdresser and onetime Samaritan, had found out he had been cheating on her.
In June Symmons had accidentally phoned home on his mobile phone while with his lover Ms Croney.
His wife heard them kissing and him saying “I love you” followed by “it’s too hot to wear knickers in the summer”.
Mrs Symmons discovered condoms in his wallet, a prescription for Viagra and by checking his credit card bills discovered he and Ms Croney had stayed at hotels together including one in Venice.
Nadine Radford QC, defending, said Symmons had lost everything in a “spontaneous fit of action”.
She added: “His children and his grandchildren and any future grandchildren are lost to him. It is likely that he will either die in custody or he will be released and will die shortly after that.”
compliments http://www.thisislondon.co.uk
Professional Snoops
January 7th, 2007 by The BabeWhile following people around can lead to stalking charges, some legally trail others around – and get paid for it.
Pat Burt runs a private investigation consulting service in Lake Havasu City, for which he charges $75-$80 per hour. Although he specializes in video surveillance, Burt offers services to those suspecting others of marital infidelity, fraudulent claims or sexual harassment.
With a 21-year law enforcement background in Washington state and Alaska, Burt often looks to fill in gaps left after criminal investigations have ceased.
“If the right questions aren’t asked, answers never come out,” he said. “Knowledge is power in my world.”
Since opening his office in Lake Havasu City four months ago, partners suspecting romantic affairs have contacted Burt on four different occasions to see if their significant other was in fact cheating. Burt said they often turn out to be unfounded suspicions.
“People call me because of some marital conflict. They are looking for some edge and are really trying too hard,” he said.
Unlike law enforcement personnel, this local private investigator does not need probable cause to question someone. But he must adhere to laws preventing actions such as trespassing and the wiretapping of phones. Sitting in a parking lot looking into someone’s window is fair game. If you don’t like it, “shut the blinds,” states Burt.
Retired investigator John Von Colln of Lake Havasu City conducted more conventional crime scene investigations. His expertise was in latent fingerprint examinations. Unlike Burt, the former sergeant of San Bernardino Sheriff’s Office said “surveillance is not my cup of tea.”
In his 30 years of law enforcement experience, Von Colln leanred it is quite difficult to follow anyone and stay with them in Los Angeles.
Counties in California would hire Von Colln to either prove or refute claims made against clients charged in major crimes such as homicides, robberies and gang-related activity. Once at the crime scene, Von Colln would “try to put the pieces together” using personal interviews, police reports and fingerprints.
The retired investigator said prints remain on surfaces “for eternity, as long as it’s not dusted or rubbed off.” However, the accumulation of dirt or dust can make the prints of lesser quality over time. To illustrate the near-timeless value of fingerprints, Von Colln told a story about prints being lifted off tombs in ancient Egypt.
One story in particular stays fresh in his mind. During the 1980s, Von Colln learned of a missing 15-month old baby boy from his hometown in New Jersey. Police had found the baby’s mother, but due to her apparent drug use, the woman could not say anything about her son’s whereabouts other than the word: “Sparks.”
Based on information gathered, Von Colln learned that the woman and her baby frequented truck stops across the country. Using little other than a phone book, he was able to locate a man by the name of Sparks – and subsequently the infant – just five days after beginning his search.
“It was the most interesting case I’ve ever worked,” the Havasu retiree said, adding his success in the case involved a lot of luck.
As it turned out, the 15-month old baby boy was staying at a Catholic Church adoption home in Michigan.
Burt seldom does “missing person” searches, due in part to concerns over the possibility of a deranged husband seeking an ex-wife for some form of revenge.
Instead, the private eye spends time on workman’s compensation, loss prevention and insurance claims – three areas of business vulnerable to fraud. Through interviews and surveillance tapes, Burt tries to discern fact from fiction. He also uses Freedom of Information Act requests to gather information when necessary.
“There is so much fraud out there,” Burt observed.
During interviews, he relies on body language and other non-verbal cues.
“Honest people act honestly,” he noted.
If the investigator senses anxiety, he attempts to determine the source of that tension or unease.
Burt received training through the John E. Reid & Associates interviewing and interrogations program, a recognized technique offered by a school in Chicago.
He recalled one instance in his investigations career when the tables were turned on him. Working in Washington, Burt noticed someone following him one day, but never did find out why.
On another occasion, a man approached the vehicle Burt and another investigator were sitting in and asked what they were doing. Burt and his accomplice had been observing a workplace on drug use allegations.
“We just told him we were private investigators observing and told him it didn’t pertain to him,” Burt said.
The nosy onlooker seemed satisfied with the response and went on his way.
Young people interested in becoming investigators should look to join a police or sheriff’s department, Von Colln advises.
“Do backgrounds (checks) or investigations and work your way from there,” he says.
College degrees in criminal justice, including courses in evidence and penal codes, are helpful to have as well, he recommends.
Pat Burt may be contacted at 486-8102.
You may reach the reporter at hays@havasunews.com
http://www.havasunews.com
Survey: Desperate Housewives Have Regrets About Husbands
January 4th, 2007 by The BabeSo much for happily ever after. A new survey has found a shockingly large number of blissful brides turn into desperate wives.
If given a chance to do things over, more than half of 3,000 married women polled by Woman’s Day magazine and AOL were not sure they would marry their husband again — with more than a third saying they would definitely not pick the same spouse.
In the online survey, which was not scientific, more than three-quarters of women also said they fantasize about a man other than their husband — and 39 percent admitted to constantly flirting.
Three-quarters of the women also admitted keeping secrets from their husbands — like the crushes they have on celebs. On the top of the fantasy list for women who like sexy married stars are actors Will Smith and Ben Affleck. They each received 31 percent of the vote.
Not surprisingly, the survey found that wives are not the only ones whose thoughts and bodies stray to others.
Nearly half the women said they suspected their husbands of cheating or caught them in the act.
Ignorance, the women said, is not bliss — 84 percent said they would “absolutely” want to know if their spouse was being unfaithful.
A lot of women apparently become bored in the bedroom. Nearly a third said they stick to the far side of the marital bed. Another third said they don’t have time for sex with their husbands.
Just 10 percent of married women said they usually don sexy lingerie in bed. More than half prefer a ratty T-shirt or comfortable pajamas, while a third sleep naked.
The biggest rows between married couples are caused by petty disputes, say 51 percent of the women. Money, with 27 percent of the vote, also was high on the list of reasons why husband and wife fight.
The survey also found women spent time thinking about celebrity match-ups.
The most unusual matchup had anchorwoman Katie Couric bedding one of the hottest eligible men in Hollywood, George Clooney.
Nearly half of the women said they wanted the hunk to end up with Couric, while 31 percent thought New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg should pair up with the CBS anchor.
Actress Jennifer Aniston should hook up with Matthew McConaughey, according to 47 percent of those surveyed.
Jessica Simpson belongs with Hollywood hunk Josh Lucas, according to the poll.
And the real-life desperate housewives in the poll felt “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher should get it on with John Stamos, of Uncle Jesse fame in the TV sitcom “Full House.”