Americans Canadians May Share Views on Cheating
June 16th, 2010 by The Babe-
One in three Canadians say they’ve had an affair, with Ontarians and Quebecers the most likely to have stepped out on a partner (36% and 34% respectively).
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Married men are much more likely to have cheated than married women (13% vs. 8%) although when it comes to having a physical relationship with someone else who is married, the genders are nearly neck and neck.
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More than half of Canadians believe everyone thinks about cheating at some point.
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Over a third of Canadians figure cheating doesn’t mean a lack of love for one’s partner, while 18% of Canadians think cheating once can actually be positive for a relationship.
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Quebeckers are especially forgiving, or at least understanding, of infidelity – 53% of respondents in La Belle Province said cheating on someone doesn’t mean you don’t love them, and 28% said a one-off affair can actually be beneficial to the relationship.
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A startling 40% of Canadians say they know they were cheated on at some point
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Only 13% of Canadians think being unhappily married but staying together for the kids’ sake is
justification for cheating. -
Apparently getting back at a cheating spouse is only a reasonable excuse for 18% of those surveyed.
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Four in five of Canadians would confront their significant others if they suspected them of cheating.
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60% of Canadians would check their credit card statements or phone bills for evidence, and nearly half of Canadians would go so far as to follow their partners to see where they were wandering to.
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If amateur private eye activities unearthed evidence of an affair, 50% would confront their partners with the proof and talk about it (with women being more likely to take this approach than men).
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Two out of five Canadians would ask if their partner was cheating and give him or her a chance to come clean before they waved the evidence in their face..
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29% would end the relationship then and there
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43% of Canadians would keep our options open and try to work it out.
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Only 10% of Canadians would automatically forgive our partner’s transgressions.
Ultimately forgiving the spouse or partner could depend on the nature of the affair.
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Nearly two thirds of Canadians would find our significant other having an affair with our best friend the hardest to forgive
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28% said it would be most difficult if it was someone at work
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One in four thought an ex would be the biggest blow.
And if their partners did “fess up”, what then?
When we seek out that old boyfriend or girlfriend on Facebook, are we innocently checking in to see how that person’s life is going? Or are we secretly hoping for a confidential hookup?
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77% of Canadians admit that we’ve been in contact with someone we used to be in a relationship with, though it’s nearly split down the middle when it comes to the number of Canadians who initiated the contact and those of Canadians who found ourselves on the receiving end of an ex reaching out.
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Just over half of Canadians figure Facebook and other social networking sites are the best way to
re-establish contact with a previous partner, -
only 10% of Canadians think looking up an former flame is a big no-no.
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two out of five of Canadians would be willing to chat with an ex-lover because we might be able
to become friends again. -
Another two out of five would exchange cursory updates but not try to carry on communication.
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Folks in British Columbia. were much more open to the idea of being friends with an ex (53%) than those in Saskatchewan and Manitoba (35%), while Quebecers were the most likely to say a firm “non!” – what’s in the past is in the past.
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In general, they found women are more likely to think that reconnecting with a past lover is a bad idea.
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A full third of those surveyed believe that all this talk of being friends with exes is baloney, and the only reason former flames try to open lines of communication is to re-establish a romantic relationship.
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Nearly two-thirds of Canadians would never get back together with an ex,
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one in five Canadians pine for the one that got away, and would do anything to re-ignite a specific previous relationship.
Technorati Tags: Canadians, Canadian, affair, cheating, infidelity, cheating spouse
Keep It In Your Pants In Kandahar
June 8th, 2010 by The Babe
Recently the commander of Canada’s battle group in Kandahar, Brigadier General Daniel Ménard, was suddenly kicked to the curb and ordered to return to Canada. The unexpected firing, almost certain to end the career of a soldier considered to be on his way to the top of the army, came after his commanding officer received reports that the General was having a sexual relationship with a female member of his staff.
His firing as head of the Canadian Forces in Afghanistan because of his alleged affair — is the first Canadian general officer to be dismissed on the battlefield since the Second World War.
An extramarital affair might not seem a serious issue to those outside of the military. The public is more than willing to forgive transgressions by movie stars, politicians (including presidents) and pro golfers. But it isn’t the extramarital sex (Ménard is married with two children) that poses the problem. It’s that it happened between soldiers, in a war zone.
It turns out that Canadian soldiers in battle are not allowed to have intimate relations of any kind.
That includes kissing, hand-holding and passing naughty notes in the mess tent. Amazingly, the rule applies even if they are married, which Gen. Menard is, although, unfortunately, not to the subordinate he allegedly was having sex with.
The hypothetical scenario behind the military’s banning of relationships amongst soldiers in war zones is simple. One is unlikely to order someone they’re in love with to risk death. Even if the two participants in a relationship are able to set aside their feelings and perform as professionals, others in the unit who know of their relationship might come to doubt that they would be treated fairly
Imagine having to fight a battle with someone who recently dumped you. If ordered by someone who’d just rejected your affections to stay behind and die, might you not be the least bit suspicious as to their motive?
Had Ménard been a low-ranked officer or an enlisted man, caught having an affair with a fellow soldier, it’s possible they would have gotten off with a thorough dressing down from an officer, off the record, and an order to be more discrete about it. But since Ménard was the top man, even though he’d never have faced the decision, from the safety of his headquarters, to send another member of the HQ staff into a minefield, he still had to go. A general cannot be judged by a different standard than the troops he commands.
Would you rather have active-duty soldiers who are actually getting laid or just desperately wishing they were? Someone needs to do a study on proving that celibacy and sexual frustration – actually improves performance in battle or any other aspect of life.
Technorati Tags: Canada, Kandahar, Daniel Ménard, Canadian Forces, Afghanistan, Canadian, extramarital affair
Another Look At Presidential Candidates Views On Infidelity
May 17th, 2010 by The BabeBased on what we know now – John Edwards / Rielle Hunter Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky scandals and the purported affair between Barack Obama / Vera Baker, I thought you might find interesting to take Another Look At Presidential Candidates Views On Infidelity.
Couric asks
“Whether They Can Understand Voters Who Don’t Feel Comfortable Supporting A Candidate Who Cheated”
Here are some of their responses:
The Question by Katie Couric:
Harry Truman said, quote, “A man not honorable in his marital relations is not usually honorable in any other.” Many people say they don’t feel comfortable supporting someone who’s not remained faithful to their spouse. Why should they?
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Barack Obama
Obama: Why should they not –
Couric: Support someone who isn’t faithful. In other words, people feel uncomfortable. Is that appropriate? Or, you know, how do you feel about that?
Obama: Well, I … you know, I do think that public morality … and private morality are not sum — you know, or not equivalent. You know, we — some of our greatest presidents haven’t always been terrific husbands. And some who have been wonderful husbands have been rotten presidents.
So, you know, I think that other countries have typically taken a little more casual on approach when it comes to the personal lives … of elected officials. And I think that there has to be some space for privacy. I will say this.
I do think that I’m very proud of the relationship I’ve got with Michelle, and the work and the value that I’ve put into it. And I hope it does say something about my character, the strength of my marriage. But, you know … if I was — had a wonderful marriage but didn’t have good ideas in terms of providing health care for every American or repairing the damage that’s been done to our foreign policy by George Bush, then my marriage alone shouldn’t qualify me … for being president.
Couric: Should infidelity qualify someone, or should infidel …
Obama: Disqualify.
Couric: … infidelity disqualify someone?
Obama: You know … I’m very cautious about applying strict moral rules to … or a blanket universal rule to … people. Because, you know, I mean, there are some people who might say that the fact that, you know, I indulged in drugs when I was young, disqualifies me. I mean, there are a lot of ways that you can apply that kind of morality. What I’m always hopeful of is that people are judge our public servants based on their passion, their commitment, their public integrity, how they operate with that public trust. And, you know, if we start getting too sanctimonious about some of these issues then there aren’t going to be that many people who are able or willing to serve.
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Hilary Clinton
Clinton: Well, I can certainly understand why some people would feel that way, and … that is their perfect right to do so. But I think … would be a tough standard for most of American history to be able to meet, when we look at people who have made a big difference in our country.
I think there’s more to someone’s honor and integrity, and to their public service. I think sometimes we confuse the private and the public in ways that are not necessarily useful. So, of course, it’s a deeply personal matter that I take personally. But I think on the public stage, there are a number of people who have represented our country, led our country, accomplished great achievements on behalf of our country who might have some challenges in their personal life, but have made a great contribution.
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John Edwards
Couric: So how important do you think it is in the grand scheme of things?
Edwards: I think the most important qualities in a president in today’s world are trustworthiness, sincerity, honesty, strength of leadership. And certainly that goes to a part of that. It’s not the whole thing. But it goes to a part of it.
Couric: So you think it’s an appropriate way to judge a candidate?
Edwards: Yeah. But I don’t think it’s controlling. I mean, I think that, as you point out, there have been American presidents that at least according to the … stories we’ve all heard, that were not faithful, that were in fact good presidents. So I don’t think it controls the issue. But I think it’s certain … something reasonable for people to consider.
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John McCain
McCain: You know … that’s an area that I never get into. Because I think that people make judgments, and you can judge other people. I’m not very good at that. And so, I think it’s up to each person’s personal view of the individual, and … everybody has a different view.
I say that because you and I know that there have been some leaders in American history — latest information about Franklin Delano Roosevelt. I happen to still think that Franklin Delano Roosevelt was an important president at a time in our history when we needed some courage. And so … that’s just frankly, a judgment that I leave to others.
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Bill Richardson
Richardson: Well, I think this is … if you’re — if you’re not faithful to your wife, you’re not faithful to the country, to your ideals. You’re not faithful to the spirit in which Americans trust their political leaders. And they expect them to … have a sense of honor.
Nobody’s perfect. I’ve been married to Barbara for 35 years. We’ve had our differences, our difficulties, but we’ve stayed together. But I think being faithful is … an essential component of any relationship. It’s whether a voter can trust you to … be thinking about the common good as opposed to personal ambition or anything else.
Couric: Do you think infidelity is reason enough not to vote for someone?
Richardson: I don’t think so. I think that, you know, infidelity is … a serious problem in any marriage. But, you know, everybody sins. And it’s whether you’re forgiven, whether you forgive yourself, whether you have faith in God. You know, perfection … is something that politicians, they should not stand themselves for perfection. Nobody’s perfect.
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Mitt Romney
Couric: Well, what do you think of people who base their judgment at least partially on a candidate’s ability to remain faithful to his or her spouse?
Romney: You know, I let people look at me any way they want to. I’m not gonna give advice to the American people in which aspects of a person’s life they look at. After all, the president of the United States is gonna be under a microscope. He will be. The first lady will be. The whole family will be. Every mistake will be open to the world. In some respects, you respect the nation.
In some respects you represent an example to the children of America. So we’re gonna get looked at in all sorts of ways. And I’m not gonna try and counsel the American people as to what to look at. I know they look at my faith, for instance. And I’m happy to have them do so. Some are critical. Some are positive. It’s just part of the package. And take me as … the whole character that I am.
Couric: Do you think that people shouldn’t vote for candidates if they are — commit adultery, for example?
Romney: I think people should be able to do what they want to do. And express their own views when they get into the … voting booth. I’m not gonna tell them how to … do that. And I know that people will, again, take their own counsel.
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Fred Thompson
Couric: Do you think it’s an appropriate way to evaluate a candidate?
Thompson: Everybody’s gotta make up their own mind about that. I think that you can evaluate a candidate any way you want to. It’s a free country. There are a lot of things that go into it. When we elect a president, we’re electing the leader of the free world. We’re facing tremendous challenges ahead. I don’t think we’ve come to terms with the nature of the threats against us, really in terms … of radical Islam and the things we’ve got to do and the threats to the economy with the growing retirement population, things that, of that nature.
So, nobody’s perfect. Everybody has weaknesses and has made mistakes one time or another in life. But everybody’s gotta decide for themselves what they want to consider that go into making up. The leader is going to have to deal with these problems of the country.
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Mike Huckabee
Huckabee: I can. If you violate the promise that you made to the one person on earth to whom you’re supposed to be closest to, and this vow was made in front of your families, your closest friends, and God, and you don’t keep that, then can we trust you to keep a promise that you made to people you don’t even know?
Huckabee: I don’t think it means that a person can’t be a good president. Obviously, there have been some great presidents who had personal issues. I think that’s going to be true of all leaders. Nobody’s perfect. Nobody. Me, anybody else. We all have flaws.
One of the things that I think I’ve learned most about life, particularly from my experience of having been a pastor, is that the people that you think are the best people on earth? Well, they’ve got some secrets sitting in there, about some pretty dark spots.
And the people you think are the dregs of the earth, there’s some qualities there. May not be on the surface, but they’re there. The capacity to make great decisions is not always the same as the capacity to make really good personal decisions.
But it does come to the matter of, I think, whether the general population will trust you, and that if what you’re saying is really true. They may believe that what you do is a good thing. It’s just they don’t, they may not believe that what you say is necessarily the truth.
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Rudy Giuliani
Giuliani: Sure, I can. Absolutely. You know, they look the every single part of us. And the … only thing I can say to people is I’m not perfect, you know? And I’ve made mistakes in my life. And that … not just in that area. In other areas and I try to learn from it. I try to — I feel sorry about them. I try to learn from them so I don’t repeat them.
Sometimes I even repeat them and … you try again. I mean, you … so — I have a, maybe a more generous view of human beings and a more generous view of life. I mean, it comes from growing up as a Catholic. I mean, we’re all sinners. We’re all struggling. We’re all trying hard. We ask for forgiveness, and then we try to improve ourselves again. And I’ve — relate to other people that way. Relate to the world that way.
Technorati Tags: CBS News, Katie Couric, John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky, affair, Barack Obama, Vera Baker, Infidelity, Hilary Clinton, American presidents, John McCain, Bill Richardson, Mitt Romney, president of the United States, Fred Thompson, Mike Huckabee, Rudy Giuliani
Boy Toy Admits Bedding Larry Kings Wife
May 11th, 2010 by The Babe
Last month CBS reported that Hector Penate, 31, had an affair with Larry King’s wife, Shawn Southwick.
In an effort to boost his “career”, Penate admitted to screwing King’s wife right before her divorce filing last week and says she mused about Larry’s demise. He claims Shawn, 50, often spoke to him of her desire to divorce Larry, 76, and wistfully told him,
“Don’t worry, he’s gonna die soon.”
Penate claims the affair with King’s wife began in 2007.
“We had sex in Larry’s bed a lot,” he said. “I felt like it was my house.”
Southwick has denied having an affair with Penate, but he says they so had one, and not only that, it was motivated by King’s affair with Shawn’s sister, Shannon Engemann.
I wonder if Jerry Springer has any openings on his show?
Technorati Tags: Celebrity Cheaters, CBS, Hector Penate, Larry King, Shawn Southwick, Jerry Springer
Was Peace Prize Winner Getting A Piece On The Side
May 7th, 2010 by The Babe
Is it possible our 2009 Nobel Peace Prize winner was getting a piece on the side? President Barack Obama has been accused of cheating on his wife Michelle with a campaign worker. The American supermarket tabloid, the National Enquirer, claims that Barack Obama and Vera Baker had a fling at Washington, D.C. hotel and a security video had all the records!
While running for US Senate, rumor has it that Obama secretly met Vera Baker at a hotel in Washington D.C.
One of the Enquirer’s “confidential investigations” apparently has learned that Obama first became close to 35 year-old Vera Baker in 2004 when she worked tirelessly to get him elected to the US Senate, raising millions in campaign contributions.
It appears that a hired limo driver confirmed the story to be true. He claims he picked Vera Baker up from a friend’s house and then carried her to The Hotel George. The driver then apparently waited in the lobby while Vera went to a room, which he says was Obama’s room. To the best of limo driver’s knowledge, Vera did not have her own room at the hotel.
It’s also being rumored that Baker was suddenly taken off the campaign midway through. Speculation is that Michelle Obama didn’t approve of Vera and was uncomfortable with her and Barack working so close together. Is this another Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton scandal? Or is the media desperate to start trouble wherever they can???
Is there anything beyond them staying in the same building? I admit, I thought the same of reports that John Edwards cheated on his wife with, knocked up and tried to pay off Rielle Hunter were entirely fictional. How wrong I was.
Initially, the scandal first broke in October, 2008. Ms Baker then proceeded to leave the political scene and move to Martinique, where she married. She returned to Washington after Obama’s election and began working for Illinois Senator Roland Burris. But once the scandal broke again, she left the senators office.
Although Vera Baker has denied the allegations, the Enquirer has offered a whopping sum of $1 million for confirmation.
The cyberspace storm of innuendo and unfounded rumors isn’t likely to die down anytime soon and it appears that many don’t believe the Enquirer story. Is that because it’s probably not true or simply because they choose to believe that one of their idols is not capable of blighting his marriage and career with infidelities?
It’s sadly true that though the National Enquirer is very often wrong in their attention grabbing headlines, very often there’s some foundation to their stories.
Michelle Obama isn’t a wife I’d like to cross pass with over an extramarital affair. I’d say she’s very likely to “whip his black ass”. For your sake, Mr. President, I’m hoping the gossip is untrue!
Technorati Tags: Nobel Peace Prize, National Enquirer, Barack Obama, Vera Baker, Michelle Obama, Monica Lewinsky/Bill Clinton, Rielle Hunter, rumors, extramarital affair, gossip
Extramarital Affair with Country Star LeeAnn Rimes
May 3rd, 2010 by The BabeThe song included the lyrics:
“What have I done?/I broke the heart of the sweetest man/What have I done?/I broke the heart of the only man who’s ever loved me.”
It makes you wonder if the the song was written during the height of Rimes cheating scandal that broke out in 2009. Rimes split from husband Dean Sheremet, her husband of seven years, in late 2009 after an onset romance with actor Eddie Cibrian turned into a real-life one.
Rimes met Cibrian on the set of “Northern Lights,” a lifetime movie, and their extramarital affair began soon after.
Sheremet filed papers in December 2009 to divorce Rimes, In the petition for divorce, Sheremet asked for Rimes to pay spousal support plus all attorney fees and costs. His lawyer Stacy D. Phillips also requested the court not to grant spousal support to Rimes.
Technorati Tags: Country music, Lee Ann Rimes, cheating, extramarital affair
Larry Kings Affair Deserving Of The Jerry Springer Show
April 20th, 2010 by The Babe
Rumors – Celebrity Scandals – Famous Cheaters
Larry King is recognized as one of the premier broadcast interviewers. King has conducted some 40,000 interviews with politicians, athletes, entertainers, and other newsmakers. He has won an Emmy Award, two Peabody Awards, and ten Cable ACE Awards.
In a story fit for the Jerry Springer show, King is being accused by 8th wife Shawn Southwick of having an extramarital affair with her sister, Shannon Engemann, Engemann is denying that she did anything wrong.
The tabloid claims Larry spent over a million dollars to put up Shannon at the swank Beverly Hills Hotel and bought her expensive gifts including a car.
Shawn’s 45 year-old sister Shannon reportedly told a friend “I had sex with Larry and he bought me an expensive car.”
Shawn said that she wouldn’t have felt so crazy if she’d caught Larry fooling around with a stranger. The fact that he’s cheated with her sister has made it so much worse.
When Shawn learned about her husband’s illicit affair, she took a little revenge – by having an affair herself.
Back in November 2008, the National Enquirer claimed Shawn cheated on Larry with their son’s baseball coach and 29 year-old aspiring actor, Hector Penate,
This little tryst (if true) sets her into the Cougar category as there appears to be a 20 years age difference between Shawn and Hector.
Whether or not the allegations are true, take a look back at the legendary late night host, who’s been married eight times to seven women, and his lengthy list of ex-wives …
- Freda Miller married King in 1952 when he was 19. Their marriage
ended in 53 when the marriage was annulled by their parents. - Annette Kaye Married to King briefly and gave birth to their son Larry Jr. in 1961. It’s said the King did not meet Larry Jr. until the son was in his thirties A little insight into King’s character? He divorced Kaye while she was pregnant
- Alene Akins A former Playboy bunny. Like [tag]Liz
Taylor[/tag], he married and divorced the same woman – twice. They
had a son in 1962 But King and Akins obviously were still hot for one
another. Five years and one wife later, (King married Mary Francis ‘Mickey’
Stuphin in 1963, only to divorce her in 1966), the pair remarried. While
their second go-around was also short-lived, as the couple divorced in 1972,
Alene gave birth to daughter Chaia King in 1969. - Mary Francis “Mickey” Sutphin
- Sharon Lepore 1976 – 1983 Math teacher and production
assistant - Julie Alexander 1989 -1992 He met business woman Julie Alexander
in 89 and proposed on their first date. - Shawn Southwick 1997 …. He married Shawn three days before he
underwent heart surgery to clear a clogged blood vessel. They have 2 sons On
King and Southwick’s 10th anniversary in September 2007, Southwick boasted
she was “the only [wife] to have lasted into the two digits”.
Technorati Tags: Rumors, Celebrity Scandals, Famous Cheaters, Larry King, Jerry Springer, cheated, National Enquirer, Cougar, marriage, Playboy bunny
Another Bad Career Move For Tiki Barber
April 10th, 2010 by The Babe
In his worst career move since retiring one year before the New York Giants won the Super Bowl, Today Show correspondent and former NFL star Tiki Barber has dumped Ginny Barber, his wife, for former 23 year old, NBC intern, Traci Lynn Johnson
To make matters worse, Ginny and Tiki have 2 sons and Ginny is 8 months pregnant with twins.
In his 2007 memoir, “Tiki: My Life in the Game and Beyond,” Barber described the example he wanted to set for his kids.
“I want to be an honorable man, because that’s what I want them both to be,” he wrote, noting, “My family is everything to me.”
Sources say Johnson, who also worked on the 30 Rock set, accompanied Tiki to film in Senegal when Ginny was three months pregnant. Their affair is particularly stunning in light of Barber’s long-standing disdain for his philandering father.
“After 11 years of marriage, Ginny and I have decided to separate,” Barber said. “This decision was a painful one, but we are moving forward amicably and will continue to work together to raise our children with the love and dedication they have known.”
Dumping your pregnant wife? Bad move Tiki. Here’s a list of Tiki’s good moves……
Tiki started his amazing career in 1997 with the University of Virginia when he was drafted by the New York Giants in the 2nd round of the 1997 NFL Draft. It seemed everything was coming up roses for the next 19 years.
Then came the blooper of the NFL when he retired at the end of the 2006 season, only to see his team go on to win the Super Bowl in 2007.
- In 2006, Barber became only the 21st player in NFL history to rush for over 10,000 yards during his career.
- Tiki became the third player in NFL history to gain more than 10,000 rushing yards and 5,000 receiving yards in a NFL career
- Led NFL in total yards from scrimmage: 2004, 2005
- 38 games of 100+ yards rushing
- 5 games of 200+ yards rushing
- Pro Bowl: 2005, 2006, 2007
- First player in NFL history with 1,800 rushing yards and 500 receiving yards in one season
- In 2005, Barber became one of three players in NFL history with at least three 200-yard rushing games in a season (O.J. Simpson had 3 in 1973 and Earl Campbell ran for 200 yards four times in 1980)
- He is one of only ten running backs to have over 400 receptions and 10,000 yards rushing
- In 2006, Tiki Barber became the fourth player in NFL history to have four 2,000 total yard seasons.
- In 2006, Tiki Barber became the third player in NFL history to have at least 2,100 rushing attempts and 575 receptions in a career.
- Tiki Barber is the third player in NFL history to be the career leader in both rushing yards and receptions with their respective NFL Franchises.
- Tiki Barber is the fourth running back in NFL history to lead their respective NFL franchises in career receptions
- Tiki Barber led the Giants in rushing in every game from the beginning of the 2002 season through the end of the 2006 season, an NFL record 80 consecutive games.
Technorati Tags: Super Bowl, Today Show, NFL star, Tiki Barber, University of Virginia, New York Giants, Super Bowl
Online Affairs Are The Flavor Of The Season
January 14th, 2010 by The Babe
Remember the time when you had to leave home and hit the bars and clubs to find someone with whom to have a affair. Whether it was a one night stand, a little diversion from your marriage or an attempt to find that special someone, you were required to “make nice” and strut your charms physically.
All that is gone. Now you never have to leave the comfort of your home and online affairs are the ‘flavor of the season’ when it comes to infidelity and extramarital relationships. A recent statistic shows that over 70 million people are actively engaging in online relationships, taking full advantage of the borderless freedom of finding a lover, a date, a spouse in a virtual world.
In a online affair, you can present yourself as you’d rather be, not the way you actually are. You don’t use your real name and you can shave years off your age; you can promote yourself in your job; you can describe interests you only dream about; above all, you can make yourself more interesting.
Somebody pays attention to you. You get to establish an intimacy with someone, by presenting yourself as you probably fantasize yourself to be.
And the pay off? So what makes an affair with an online lover more attractive than a conventional affair?
Somebody pays attention to you. You get to establish an intimacy with someone, by presenting yourself as you probably fantasize yourself to be.
The affair can be had without the risk of running into family members, nosy neighbours, or inquisitive friends. But the real difference today is the convenience, speed and ease with which these affairs can develop. You can spend hours chatting on the net, exchanging sexually explicit mails, and indulging in virtual sex using your webcam. Sometimes this virtual affair can last for months, even years without actually meeting your online lover without having physically met your online lover. Although in the early stages, there’s may be no sex involved, most affairs eventually lead to sexual infidelity through cyber sex or real physical contact.
Technorati Tags: affair, online affairs, infidelity, extramarital relationships, relationships, chatting, virtual sex, infidelity
Adultery Leaves A Trail Of Broken Hearts And Marriages
December 29th, 2009 by The Babe
Adultery was once considered a sin – or at least a secret. Not online. The Internet dating craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as “not so happily married,” “married but that shouldn’t matter” or even, “married but we swing.”
Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married – and recent research by the University of Florida reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.
The Internet became an easy escape for “Barbara,” a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who’s also married – but now sneaking around with Barbara. “We see each other once or twice a week,” she says. “We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal.”
She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. “There was no warmth or any physical affection,” she says glumly. She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn’t want a divorce because of their 7-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad in one of the adult dating sites online.
“I’m not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else’s,” she told The Post. “I just wanted to find someone special I could click with.”
Other women interviewed by The Post say they’ve been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give – but aren’t ready to leave.
“I guess the sex just isn’t what it used to be when we first met,” says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker.
“I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It’s addicting.”
Addiction is something Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center in Greenwich Village, understands all too well.
She’s treated many married and unmarried patients who’ve gotten caught up in Internet lust.
“Its power is almost trance-inducing,” she says. “You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It’s like crack cocaine to sex addicts.”
Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he’s been “swinging” for 23 years.
Before going online, he would post ads in “swinger magazines,” sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting. Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads online.
“While I’m open to a relationship, I’d prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis,” he says.
Alfred’s new online ads generally attract several interested women (“I’m a seller in a buyer’s market,” he says proudly).
He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don’t mind that he’s already spoken for.
Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there’s likely to be someone at home who’s getting hurt.
John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that – his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.
The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com – a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who’ve been hurt by them.
“Chatting is OK, cheating is not,” says LaSage.
“People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs.”
If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, “Bring the issue out into the open,” he says.
“Look out for the warning signs” – like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.
“If you just want a sexual hit, you can masturbate a lot quicker than having an affair,” she says.
“But it’s about gratification. They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately.”
But not every married person who’s gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.
Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.
But that may be just the ticket for a 34-year-old Lower East Side “Rockerdude” who advertises online that he’s hoping to make sweet music with men, women – and anything in between.
“Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship – so be brave,” he writes.
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