Adultery Leaves A Trail Of Broken Hearts And Marriages
December 29th, 2009 by The Babe
Adultery was once considered a sin – or at least a secret. Not online. The Internet dating craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as “not so happily married,” “married but that shouldn’t matter” or even, “married but we swing.”
Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married – and recent research by the University of Florida reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.
The Internet became an easy escape for “Barbara,” a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who’s also married – but now sneaking around with Barbara. “We see each other once or twice a week,” she says. “We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal.”
She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. “There was no warmth or any physical affection,” she says glumly. She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn’t want a divorce because of their 7-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad in one of the adult dating sites online.
“I’m not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else’s,” she told The Post. “I just wanted to find someone special I could click with.”
Other women interviewed by The Post say they’ve been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give – but aren’t ready to leave.
“I guess the sex just isn’t what it used to be when we first met,” says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker.
“I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It’s addicting.”
Addiction is something Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center in Greenwich Village, understands all too well.
She’s treated many married and unmarried patients who’ve gotten caught up in Internet lust.
“Its power is almost trance-inducing,” she says. “You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It’s like crack cocaine to sex addicts.”
Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he’s been “swinging” for 23 years.
Before going online, he would post ads in “swinger magazines,” sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting. Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads online.
“While I’m open to a relationship, I’d prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis,” he says.
Alfred’s new online ads generally attract several interested women (“I’m a seller in a buyer’s market,” he says proudly).
He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don’t mind that he’s already spoken for.
Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there’s likely to be someone at home who’s getting hurt.
John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that – his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.
The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com – a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who’ve been hurt by them.
“Chatting is OK, cheating is not,” says LaSage.
“People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs.”
If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, “Bring the issue out into the open,” he says.
“Look out for the warning signs” – like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.
“If you just want a sexual hit, you can masturbate a lot quicker than having an affair,” she says.
“But it’s about gratification. They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately.”
But not every married person who’s gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.
Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.
But that may be just the ticket for a 34-year-old Lower East Side “Rockerdude” who advertises online that he’s hoping to make sweet music with men, women – and anything in between.
“Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship – so be brave,” he writes.
Technorati Tags: Adultery, Internet dating, adult dating, swinger
In The News – Cheating Wives Club
January 3rd, 2009 by The BabeThe Seattle Times Inbox Column
Online “Cheating Wives Club
By Charles Bermant, The Seattle Times Knight Ridder/Tribune Business News
Nov. 30 – A few months ago while wading through a ton of unsolicited messages, one caught my eye: It turned out that several women in my neighborhood were lonely and neglected by their husbands, and had joined an online “cheating wives club.”
In an effort to end their unfulfilment, they were using the power of the Internet to find love. This made me exceedingly curious about whom it might be, as all my neighbors seemed to have happy marriages.
Could it be that Mrs. Nelson isn’t exactly a happy homemaker, or Mrs. Bunker is on the prowl? Maybe that cute blonde Mrs. Keaton is a tigress at heart.
I didn’t click that particular link for a number of reasons. In the first place, there is my own marriage to consider. My wife seems to have lost the spirit of adventure and drew the line when I wanted to get a fifth dog.
And I’m not sure she always told the truth when we were dating. When she said she liked “classical music,” I thought she meant early Beatles. Still, things don’t always work out as promised, so you need to adapt. Besides, cheating on your spouse is one of those bad decisions you can’t un-make.
Then, we have the dumb criminal factor. That is, if you were going to cheat on your spouse, why would you use the Internet to make it happen? This advice follows the same slimy morality advice that it’s OK to lie, but don’t put it in an e-mail.
There are two reasons to not behave badly: because it is wrong and because you can get caught. People who use the Internet to line up assignations obviously don’t care about either.
Which leads to the main flaw of this “service.” If a woman is so inclined to cheat on her husband, presumably behind his back, why would she go online in order to advertise this? I realize that every relationship looks different from the outside, but I don’t know many guys who could survive the embarrassment and insult of a wife who advertised online to find a cheat partner.
So, like any husband who doesn’t want to devastate his wife, shatter his family or turn his own life upside down, I ignored the message. Or did I? A few weeks later I received a notice that read simply, “Dear Online Cheating Wife User. (3) ladies have responded to you for your date. You can begin your date with any of these (3) individuals by clicking below. Have Fun!”
This is where it crossed the line from irritation to malice. Any technically unsophisticated wife who read this message in her husband’s e-mail might trust him a little less, even though he had done nothing wrong.Since that kind of trust isn’t an issue in our home, I clicked on the link; out of curiosity. Here’s the place where I would find my own wife and we’d have a hot date, if life were like “The Pina Colada Song.”
Instead there is an unhappier ending. These links lead to unrepentant porn sites, pictures of women who disrobe for a dollar. Another e-mail trap, from people who are out to take your money and appeal to the worst in you. There ought to be a law.
A Lot Of Smoke Can Mean There’s A Fire
May 12th, 2007 by The BabeWe had 17 wonderful, fun and happy years of marriage. We have four children.
I never had reason to doubt his fidelity and total honesty until about a year ago, when I sensed some deceit. Then I caught him lying about using Internet porn and having a secret bank account. Now I’m afraid that everything he says is questionable.
He has been traveling for his job for the last 10 years. Trust has been the glue in our marriage. His cell phone activity is over the top, and I can’t identify most of the numbers. I found some other convincing evidence (makeup on his clothes, sending flowers to someone) that he has been cheating. I even asked him to take a lie-detector test, and he failed.
Still, he staunchly insists that he is innocent of any infidelity. He has agreed to individual and couples counseling. He even switched territories to reduce his travel.
I know that I could forgive him if he were to confess, ask my forgiveness and swear that he is done with it. But his continued denials are killing me. Why can’t he admit the truth? Is there a chance that all of the other indicators are wrong?
I have tried to accept that he will never admit to affairs, but my greatest fear is that he can’t give up whomever he is risking his marriage over.
How can I know if he can be the trustworthy man I married or if he has morphed into a hopeless liar and cheater whom I’d be better off without?
– Worried Wife
Dear Wife: A secret bank account? A failed lie-detector test?
I can’t judge the evidence, pull out a crystal ball and tell you if your husband is cheating, but if he has lied about a lot of things, and you’ve caught him in these lies, then, yes — I think there is a good chance that there is fire behind his smoke screen.
My favorite book about infidelity is, “We’re Not Just Friends: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity,” by Shirley Glass and Jean Coppack Staeheli (2004, Free Press). The authors opened my eyes to the roles that trust and transparency play in recovering from infidelity. For your relationship to heal, they write that your husband should be willing to be completely truthful and transparent in every way for exactly as long as you need him to be. Denial is not transparency.
Spouses who have been cheated on commonly react as you do in asking their partners to just tell them the truth and ask for forgiveness. Unfortunately, people who have been caught commonly act the way your husband is.
Your counselor should be helping the two of you to negotiate terms so that you can save your relationship.
Cheating Spouses Do It On The Road
May 11th, 2007 by The BabeMelissa cheats on her husband on business trips but not in her hometown. “That would be lethal,” she says.
Like many frequent business travelers, she uses the protection of the road to live a secret life of romance far from spouses or partners. Their affairs range from one-night stands to relationships that last for years. They’re usually with a co-worker, a business associate or someone they encounter often during repeat visits to a city.
“Business travel creates an opportunity to cheat away from prying eyes,” says infidelity expert Ruth Houston author of Is he Cheating on You? 829 Telltale Signs.
While no one has specifically studied
The infidelities of traveling athletes, movie stars, musicians and other celebrities are standard tabloid fare. Joumana Kidd, the wife of NBA star Jason Kidd of the New Jersey Nets, for example, accused him in February in a divorce-court filing of affairs with various women in different cities.
An affair led to the downfall of former Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher, who worked in Chicago and was asked to resign in 2005 after he had an extramarital affair with Debra Peabody, a Washington, D.C.-based vice president at the company. Both subsequently resigned.
In December, Julie Roehm, a former senior vice president at Wal-Mart, sued the company, claiming that it had violated her contract when she was fired that month. Wal-Mart countersued, alleging that she went on business trips and violated company policy by having an affair with a married man who worked for her. Wal-Mart said it is against company policy for an employee to become romantically involved with someone he or she supervises. “Associates who violate this policy will be subject to immediate termination,” it said.
Roehm, who also is married, said she is the victim of a “smear campaign.”
Only a minority of companies have specific policies regulating workplace romance, says Mark Oldman, co-founder of Vault, a company specializing in career information. “Most employers don’t want to reach into the personal life of employees or give the perception of trying to do so.”
But some companies expressly prohibit romantic relationships between employees, says Peter Petesch, a lawyer at Ford & Harrison, a national firm specializing in labor and employment law. “In the middle of these extremes are policies that require disclosure of relationships or bar relationships between persons in a supervisor-subordinate status,” he says.
Michael Lotito, an employment lawyer at law firm Jackson Lewis, says companies could face
Workplace romance could also influence awarding of contracts and cause “economic harm” to a company, Lotito says.
Hurt vs. Liability
But not all the affairs occurring during business travel involve co-workers, and most never make headlines. For many business travelers, the hurt they inflict on spouses and family usually outweighs the liability they create for employers.
Infidelity studies show that extramarital sex occurs in up to 25% of heterosexual marriages in the USA, according to Adrian Blow, a Michigan State University professor who is a marriage and family therapist. The studies show that more men than women are cheating, but none have specifically looked at business travelers.
That group is likely to have a higher infidelity rate, Blow and other experts say, because many factors make cheating easier. Among them: freedom from a spouse’s scrutiny and home responsibilities, more opportunities to meet new people, and the near-constant availability of alcohol at after-hour meals and social events.
Chris Arnzen of the National Institute of Marriage, a non-profit Christian counseling service, says business travel often involves competition for a sale or contract, and some people view sex as “a way to celebrate a success or soothe a defeat.” If that’s their outlook, “It sets them up for infidelity,” she says.
University of Washington sociology professor Pepper Schwartz says, for some, cheating while on the road involves less guilt.
“There seems to be a feeling,” says Schwartz, “that a fling at a convention, an interesting person met on a plane or a chance encounter is somehow more blameless than something done in one’s hometown or with a friend in one’s social circle.”
For Melissa, an affair added spice to her life and eased the loneliness of the road.
“You’re in your room alone at the end of the night and have to sleep with the remote,” she says. She and four other frequent business travelers who have been involved in affairs on the road talked to USA TODAY about their experiences, as did the wife of one of the business travelers. Each asked to remain anonymous because of unsuspecting family members, friends and co-workers.
Melissa, who is in her 40s and has been married for more than 20 years, says every few months on business trips she sleeps in a hotel with a married man in her company who lives in another state. “It’s not necessarily healthy,” she says, “but it gives me a reason to keep going.”
Melissa says she’s in love with her co-worker and doesn’t have any guilt. She says she has a “stagnant, brother-and-sister relationship” with her husband and loves him “as the father of my children.” She and her lover were drinking at a bar when they first were attracted to one another and realized they were more than friends.
Psychologist Dave Carder, a family therapist in Fullerton, Calif., says business travelers “are on a slippery slope headed for trouble” any time they go out to an entertainment venue, drink alcohol, eat expensive meals together, have time “to build a social, platonic friendship” and return to the same hotel. “Secrecy is the protection; alcohol is the barrier buster; and availability lights the fire.”
Robert, a married business traveler in the Midwest, says he has three steady lovers in three cities. He says his relationship with his wife is unfulfilling. “What makes her happy doesn’t make me happy,” he says. “At home, we have one giver, me, and one taker, her. I want a synergism where you love someone, and they love you.”
Robert, in his 60s, says he hasn’t told his wife about his three lovers. He met them on the Internet, and each one is married. Two of their husbands are unaware of him, but one has an “open marriage,” he says.
When traveling, “You don’t feel so attached to family and community,” says Dan, a 48-year-old marketing executive in the Phoenix area whose affair with a client was a factor in his divorce. “Your standards and morals tend to change a bit.”
Salespeople, he says, call it the 1,000-mile rule. “Within 1,000 miles of home, you play by the rules and don’t fool around,” he says. “Beyond 1,000 miles, you can do whatever you want.”
Most affairs involve people who aren’t meeting for the first time, says Frank Pittman, an Atlanta-based psychiatrist and author of a book, Private Lies: Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy.
And people in certain professions —athletes, military officers, pilots, lawyers, doctors and others in “high-profile” jobs — are more prone to have affairs, says Frederick DiBlasio, a University of Maryland professor of social work and a therapist. They have fame, power or wealth, and their positions tend to attract suitors, he says.
Stephanie, a frequent business traveler who had a past affair on the road, says she’s seen married people at trade shows act “like wild animals,” usually with other business people. “Trade shows are where the most infidelities take place,” she says.
Stephanie disapproves of the many married business travelers she has seen having “one- or two-night stands” on the road. She admits, though, that she and her current husband were on business trips and had an affair while married to their first spouses. Her first husband was also having affairs on road trips and at home, she says.
Still, “I don’t think my own affair was OK,” she says.
On the road, “There’s a sense of safety and a general rationalization that what the partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them,” says psychologist Peggy Vaughan, who has a website, DearPeggy.com, for people recovering from affairs. Some business people believe “it’s the norm to have affairs on the road,” because it’s “what successful, well-traveled people do,” she says.
Vaughan and her husband, James, also a psychologist, wrote a book in 1980 that discusses his past affairs while traveling on business. They have been married for 51 years.
Fewer people get caught “when they restrict their affairs only to out-of-town adventures,” she says. But there’s a tendency for those who don’t get caught “to gradually increase the risks they take, including moving into the more dangerous ground of in-town affairs.”
If they get caught cheating, or admit their ways, it can devastate their family relationships.
A California-based frequent traveler, also named Robert, confessed to his wife in November that he had had two out-of-town affairs since they wed about five years ago. They are undergoing intensive marriage counseling, and it’s been an “extremely painful process” trying to rebuild their relationship, he says. Robert says he was always drunk during his affairs and realizes they were an outgrowth of his upbringing. “I was raised in an alcoholic family, and I had no discipline or obedience,” he says.
His current wife says there was also a breakdown in their relationship at home before his infidelity on the road. “The stresses and demands on our lives were overwhelming,” she says.
Robert says two of his affairs were with employees who worked for him, and it would have been detrimental to his career if his employer knew about them.
“It was a conflict of interest, and I could have been fired,” he says.
A long way in a short time
Robert and his wife believe they can put the pieces of their marriage back together. They hired Carder to counsel them and believe they’ve come a long way in a short time. Carder has, among other things, made them look for the real reasons Robert strayed and made them rediscover why they were initially attracted to one another. “The key to saving any relationship after infidelity,” Carder says, “depends on the percentage of good history a couple has shared, identification of the contributing factors and stresses surrounding the inappropriate sexual relationship, the willingness to forgive and the restoration of respect and trust.”
“I’m beyond optimistic,” Robert’s wife says. “I know my marriage is going to make it.”
Only time will tell, but many other marriages dissolve after a spouse cheats on a business trip, says infidelity expert Anne Bercht. She wrote a bookabout her husband Brian’s affair.
Many business travelers “have aged 10 years in two years,” she says, “and lost jobs, marriages, respect of children, self-respect, friends and a great amount of wealth as a result of what began as a business trip, a drink or two and some flattery.”
Let’s offer some help for the cheaters out there. What do you do when you’re bored on a business trip? Keep it clean.
Banned Uncensored Catfight
February 15th, 2007 by The Babe
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Swinging Lifestyle
January 15th, 2007 by The BabeFrom the outside, the resort looks just like any other along the sun-soaked beaches of Los Cabos, Mexico: pools and bars and volleyball. But before long, it’s easy to see signs that this place is different. In the gift shop, not far from the sun block, w
there are boxes of Viagra. Outside by the pool were big red beds, draped with wispy curtains. And these beds were not for tanning. It was very quickly clear that at this clothing-optional resort, most enjoyed that option. Nudity was the norm. After all, this was Desire, the second-best-known “swingers” resort on the planet. Swinging is when husbands and wives, or boyfriends and girlfriends, swap partners with other couples and sleep with people who are not their husbands and wives, or boyfriends or girlfriends. And Desire is just the latest example of entrepreneurs cashing in on what they see as a growing lifestyle and, as a result, a lucrative business opportunity.Robert McGinley, the 72-year-old founder and CEO of Lifestyles Organization, the world’s leading company devoted to “swinging,” believes that one specific element makes swingers resorts successful.“Freedom – freedom of expression, freedom to be what you want to be, freedom to be stark naked nude next to someone, and they don’t care,” he said.“They want to be able to, if they’re, say, here in the Jacuzzi or in the disco dance, and get turned on by another couple, those two couples want to be able to go someplace like this bed that I’m sitting on right here and take it a step further – sexual exploration.”
You can call it wife-swapping, call it creepy – call it what you like, but it appears that the business of swing is booming.
Banking on a Demand for Something Different
The Desire Resort opened under the pretense that McGinley’s travel agency would fill the hotel 365 days a year with guests eager for Desire’s special amenities, like the outdoor beds, or as they’re called at the resort, “designated play areas.”
McGinley agrees that these are not the type of things a traveler might find at the average Holiday Inn.
“We’re offering something nobody else offers. It’s as simple as that, and there’s enough people out there that want what we’re sitting on,” he said.
There is no way to know for sure how many people are into the lifestyle, but rough estimates run from 4 million to 8 million.
“It’s a multimillion dollar business,” McGinley said, though he hesitated to divulge just how much money the resort makes each year.
“Well, let’s avoid that question,” he chuckled. “Just to say it’s multimillions.”
McGinley’s Lifestyles is the product of a nearly 40-year evolution. This all began at a discussion group in the 1960s, during which members of the group quickly moved beyond discussion. Thereafter, McGinley hosted conventions and parties and launched a swingers club, Web site and travel agency, booking swingers on special swing vacations all around the world.
Lifestyles takes a commission on every aspect. But again, McGinley was a bit evasive on the exact size of the commission.
“I can’t tell you that,” he said. “I can’t. We get a good percentage.”
A Wide Variety of Clients
And who are the people taking advantage of Lifestyle’s services? ABC News reporters John Berman and Roxanna Sherwood met people ranging in age from 30 to 65 years old. There were doctors, lawyers, business people and everyday people.
One couple, Shawna and Frank Garguilo, run a food-importing business in Arizona. They take an average of three swinging vacations a year.
“You know, there’s a lot of people that are into Lifestyles. More than people think,” said Shawna Garguilo. “It’s your neighbors.”
Her husband, Frank, readily agreed.
“You know what amazes me?” he asked. “The vast variety of people that are attracted to it – that participate in it. It’s every walk of life. It’s casino host, to blackjack dealers, to drivers, to lawyers, to professionals, to Internet gurus – there’s everybody here, and the lifestyle does not target one separate economic distinction or professional distinction. It covers everybody.”
“The biggest thing that we enjoy is that people are down to earth. There are no barriers to try to break through to start a conversation and meet new people,” he said. “That’s the No. 1 thing besides the fun that goes along with it. We’ve been to both a Lifestyles-type and then followed up with it on an ordinary-type vacation, and the experience was so different and so disappointing.”
Tony and Joleen Morales have been in the swing lifestyle for 15 years. They were high school sweethearts who married at 19. Like many of the other couples at Desire, they radiated a sense of happiness. They described basically stumbling upon the lifestyle.
“It was probably about nine or 10 years into the marriage. We kind of got curious,” said Joleen Morales.
Her husband, Tony, explained how it happened.
“We were watching something on TV, and I don’t know, it was something about the lifestyle or whatever it was, and I said, ‘What do you think of that?’ And she looked at me and said, ‘You think about that too?!’”
A visit to a the resort’s grand opening in early November offered a wide variety of couples and a shocking display of sex around every bend and on every cushion – an incredible display of sexual openness.
Tony Morales said it can initially be shocking for those considering getting involved in the lifestyle.
“It can be very frightening for somebody who’s not done it before, and they can come in with preconceived notions of what they think it is going to be like,” he said. “They are not necessarily prepared for what’s happening before their eyes because they already have in their heads what it should have been like. And it’s not always the same thing.”
His wife agreed.
“Jealousy sometimes comes up as an issue,” said Joleen Morales.
Sleeping With Others, But Doing It ‘Together’
The Moraleses said that getting involved in the swing lifestyle is only for the strongest of couples. Only those firmly rooted in their commitment to one another can handle sex outside of the marriage, they said.
When discussing the lifestyle, many couples at the resort had the air of people who harbor a great secret to health and longevity.
The Garguilos said that it all started for them during their honeymoon, and their relationship has only grown stronger ever since.
“We respect each other. It’s a fun thing, it’s a new thing,” said Shawna Garguilo. “I believe that it keeps our relationship alive in a lot of ways. There’s a lot of people that are married that go out and cheat on each other. Why? We can do it together.
“I am with my husband. I know what he is doing. I am here. I’d rather him and me have a relationship that we can share things like that together, instead of trashing our marriage and going different ways.”
They say that with such shared interests and such a deep sense of trust and honest communication, lying and cheating is never an issue. The misconceptions that nonswingers have about what it is like to be in the lifestyle was something that many couples at the resort were eager to talk about. The Morales also said that, despite what many might think, sex is not the first thing on their minds when they meet a new couple.
“No, no, no, we’re not wired that way,” said Joleen Morales. “Once or twice, I mean, I have.”
Tony, her husband, continued: “This isn’t just about sex. And those folks out there in the lifestyle, I think that they tend to immediately think that it’s all about sex and that it’s drunk Roman orgies all night.”
But those types of nights aren’t unheard of.
“I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen,” Joleen said.
Tony agreed.
“Those things do happen,” he said. “But that’s not necessarily the taste for every member in our society.”
But despite the “Roman orgy” scenes taking place, the raging, wild abandon of the glowing couples never disrupted the mellow mood at the resort.
For Resort Workers, Seeing Sex Becomes Commonplace
And how about the employees at a place like this?
A Mexican bartender at Desire, who preferred not to be named for this report, said that he and the other workers were very nervous about the grand opening and about what to expect. He explained that Mexican culture is inherently conservative and Catholic, so he said he was not alone in anxiously wondering what it would be like to pour drinks for naked people.
He said, however, that the feeling quickly fell away, and that within only three hours of the opening, he and his colleagues were used to the nudity.
“The sex becomes normal,” he said. “It’s just sex after all.”
Silvina Modolo, a nonswinger who runs promotions for Desire at its sister resort in Cancun, told us that clients at Desire are happier and more easygoing than clients at nonswinger resorts.
“When I first started working here, I wasn’t familiar with the nudism. It was a little shocking, but after about a month, guests were so friendly, openminded, and that made it easier to work around nudism and the lifestyle,” she said.
But she said that frisky guests do occasionally proposition her to join in their fun.
“Yes, at the hotel in Cancun, and here at Los Cabos in the last two days. They try to see if I’ll crack or break, but they expect that it’s a policy, like any workplace – that you don’t get involved with clients.”
And that’s true – there is a policy. The rule at the top of the list in the Desire Resort brochure is an emphatic: “No means No.”
Most of the couples at the resort readily acknowledged that it is one rule that must be honored for the sake of a happy vacation.
Are More People Getting Involved?
McGinley, the “King of Swing,” said he is not some kind of evangelist and that he is not trying to recruit the rest of us into his lifestyle. He just wants to be there for the people interested.
“Nothing is best for everybody,” McGinley said. But those people that want it will be attracted to what we do, because of the way we promote, the way we advertise, just like Coca-Cola advertises.” At 72, Robert thinks about his legacy as one of the founders of the modern swing movement.
“We would like people to be able to express themselves more appropriately sexually without fear of condemnation or handcuffs coming upon them,” he said. “I don’t mean out in public, but why not resorts like this on American soil, for example? Why not?”
Despite the fact that swing clubs are free to operate legally in the United States, many of the couples at Desire described a level of hostility from those who disapprove of the lifestyle, which can be a downer.
But that might not stop McGinley. He sees almost limitless opportunity in the business of swing. He expects his revenue to double in the next year.
“What I hope to accomplish is a chain of high-quality resort hotels all over the place that couples like this can experience – not just one or two but a number of them so they can have different locations, but also open the experience up to many people. But only those people that want the experience.”
So would he like to see resorts with outdoor love beds dotted across America?
“Well, not across America, but at least on beaches,” he said, with his trademark chuckle.
Cheating husband hid wife’s body
January 12th, 2007 by The BabeAn unfaithful husband who strangled his wife and fled with her body in his car boot has been sentenced to a minimum of 16 years.
Wealthy businessman Derek Symmons, 63, strangled his wife of 38 years, 59-year-old Christine, in the hall of their £1 million home in Loudwater, Hertfordshire.
He attacked her when she taunted him about being impotent and insulted the memory of his dead mother hours after they had been to a marriage counselling session. 
She had just discovered the father-of-two had been cheating on her with 52-year-old teacher Myra Croney who he met through an internet dating agency. He then bundled her body, wrapped in polythene, into the boot of their BMW before catching a cross-Channel ferry to Calais and driving to Macon in central France.
He only confessed to the murder when his daughter Claire phoned him the following day worried about her mother’s safety. He told her : “I’ve done something terrible. You’ll never forgive me.”
During the trial at St Albans Crown Court, Symmons claimed he acted in self-defence when his wife attacked him over his affair. But judge Michael Baker, QC, said he had rejected his evidence as a “web of deceit”, adding: “You painted yourself as a loving husband, cut to the quick by your wife’s taunts about your mother and your claimed impotence.
“Whatever your sensitivity on these matters, the reality is you were conducting an affair at the time and, even after your wife found out about it and you had begged to be forgiven, you had no real intention of stopping it.
“You killed your wife in an impulsive act when, uncharacteristically, she stood up to you.
“Nothing she said or did justified any violence on your part, let alone the extreme and savage beating and strangling you meted out to her.”
The judge went on: “Your conduct after the event was calculated, cold- hearted and callous.
“Instead of immediately ringing for the emergency services as any contrite man would have done, you wrapped your wife’s body in polythene and concealed it in the boot of your car.
“You took steps to clear the scene of incriminating clues, you cashed some money at a hole in the wall in the early hours, you went briefly into work, and you drove to France.
“I reject completely your claim that you did not know what you were doing.
“You only stopped trying to escape when your daughter rang and asked where her mother was. It was only then that the spark of humanity returned to you and you realised that you could not keep up the charade.”
Symmons, wearing a black suit and white shirt, showed no emotion as he was jailed for life.
During the three-week trial the court heard that by the summer of last year the couple’s marriage was in deep trouble.
Mrs Symmons, a hairdresser and onetime Samaritan, had found out he had been cheating on her.
In June Symmons had accidentally phoned home on his mobile phone while with his lover Ms Croney.
His wife heard them kissing and him saying “I love you” followed by “it’s too hot to wear knickers in the summer”.
Mrs Symmons discovered condoms in his wallet, a prescription for Viagra and by checking his credit card bills discovered he and Ms Croney had stayed at hotels together including one in Venice.
Nadine Radford QC, defending, said Symmons had lost everything in a “spontaneous fit of action”.
She added: “His children and his grandchildren and any future grandchildren are lost to him. It is likely that he will either die in custody or he will be released and will die shortly after that.”
compliments http://www.thisislondon.co.uk
Pepsi executive fired for extramarital affair and blackmail
December 5th, 2006 by The BabeThat’s what happened to top Pepsi Bottling Group executive Gary Wandschneider..
Pepsi Bottling fired him Thursday after launching an internal investigation. He had been with the company 24 years, working his way up from production manager. The 54-year-old multimillionaire had a liaison with 22-year-old Jessica Wolcott, who he met in February on craigslist.com.
A month later, after exchanging e-mails and photos, he met her in person at a Mount Kisco, N.Y., bar. Then she began shaking him down for $125,000 by threatening to tell his wife, children and bosses he was trolling the Internet for women. “I’m sure this will be an unpleasant surprise. I’m sure when your wife finds out that you’ve been looking for a fill-in for her … it will be unpleasant for her, too,”
Wolcott e-mailed Wandschneider, a father of three and executive vice president for worldwide operations at Westchester, N.Y.-based Pepsi Bottling, according to court documents.
The court documents do not identify Wandschneider or Pepsi Bottling, but a federal law enforcement source and Pepsi Bottling confirmed he was the person targeted by Wolcott. 
Trying to remain anonymous in her threats, Wolcott used the e-mail account “cheater_eater@hotmail.com.” “Here’s hoping your life is still a living hell and worrying every day that your name will be in the news or on a TV movie for what you’ve done to your wife,” Wolcott threatened him, according to the court documents.
Wandschneider transferred $125,000 to Wolcott’s online account — but only after he alerted the FBI, which provided the money and set up a sting operation to arrest her, the court documents said.
Wolcott pleaded guilty to charges of extortion in U.S. District Court in White Plains, N.Y., and is free on bail awaiting sentencing, scheduled for February.
Wandschneider’s story is hardly an isolated case. But legal experts say it’s difficult to gauge how frequent cases like this are. “We don’t know how many of these incidents that aren’t reported,” said Zach Carter, former U.S. attorney for the eastern district of New York. “We only find out when someone is unsuccessful and the victim calls the authorities. We don’t know how many tries there have been. Successful acts of extortion are never reported.”
Safe Internet Meetings
October 28th, 2006 by The BabeDo Not Give Out Personal Information – At first, since your contact is anonymous by email, you need not give your full name, telephone number etc. to the other individual. Only after you feel comfortable should you exchange personal information.
Meet in a Public Place – Until you feel comfortable with someone, you should meet in a public place, where you feel comfortable. “……