Online Affairs Are The Flavor Of The Season
January 14th, 2010 by The Babe
Remember the time when you had to leave home and hit the bars and clubs to find someone with whom to have a affair. Whether it was a one night stand, a little diversion from your marriage or an attempt to find that special someone, you were required to “make nice” and strut your charms physically.
All that is gone. Now you never have to leave the comfort of your home and online affairs are the ‘flavor of the season’ when it comes to infidelity and extramarital relationships. A recent statistic shows that over 70 million people are actively engaging in online relationships, taking full advantage of the borderless freedom of finding a lover, a date, a spouse in a virtual world.
In a online affair, you can present yourself as you’d rather be, not the way you actually are. You don’t use your real name and you can shave years off your age; you can promote yourself in your job; you can describe interests you only dream about; above all, you can make yourself more interesting.
Somebody pays attention to you. You get to establish an intimacy with someone, by presenting yourself as you probably fantasize yourself to be.
And the pay off? So what makes an affair with an online lover more attractive than a conventional affair?
Somebody pays attention to you. You get to establish an intimacy with someone, by presenting yourself as you probably fantasize yourself to be.
The affair can be had without the risk of running into family members, nosy neighbours, or inquisitive friends. But the real difference today is the convenience, speed and ease with which these affairs can develop. You can spend hours chatting on the net, exchanging sexually explicit mails, and indulging in virtual sex using your webcam. Sometimes this virtual affair can last for months, even years without actually meeting your online lover without having physically met your online lover. Although in the early stages, there’s may be no sex involved, most affairs eventually lead to sexual infidelity through cyber sex or real physical contact.
Technorati Tags: affair, online affairs, infidelity, extramarital relationships, relationships, chatting, virtual sex, infidelity
Adultery Leaves A Trail Of Broken Hearts And Marriages
December 29th, 2009 by The Babe
Adultery was once considered a sin – or at least a secret. Not online. The Internet dating craze is blazing a trail of broken marriages thanks to dozens of sites inviting participants to identify themselves as “not so happily married,” “married but that shouldn’t matter” or even, “married but we swing.”
Studies show some 30 percent of online dating visitors are married – and recent research by the University of Florida reports that what starts out as flirting and cybersex quickly escalates into the real thing.
The Internet became an easy escape for “Barbara,” a 43-year-old married New Yorker who dated about 60 men in three years until she met Steve, who’s also married – but now sneaking around with Barbara. “We see each other once or twice a week,” she says. “We have a lot in common, have a great time together and the sex is phenomenal.”
She says a cold husband sent her surfing for more. “There was no warmth or any physical affection,” she says glumly. She tried cajoling her husband into seeing a marriage counselor, but after only one visit, he refused to return. She didn’t want a divorce because of their 7-year-old daughter, so she posted an ad in one of the adult dating sites online.
“I’m not interested in jeopardizing my marriage or anyone else’s,” she told The Post. “I just wanted to find someone special I could click with.”
Other women interviewed by The Post say they’ve been searching for deeper emotional relationships than their husbands are able to give – but aren’t ready to leave.
“I guess the sex just isn’t what it used to be when we first met,” says Nicole, 28, a married New Yorker.
“I miss the feeling of sex being new and exciting. It’s addicting.”
Addiction is something Chris Samuels, the co-director of a sexual addiction treatment center in Greenwich Village, understands all too well.
She’s treated many married and unmarried patients who’ve gotten caught up in Internet lust.
“Its power is almost trance-inducing,” she says. “You can troll these sites and have a fantasy ready and waiting. Cybersex can provide a quick and powerful high. It’s like crack cocaine to sex addicts.”
Alfred, 49, is a self-described Internet Lothario who says he’s been “swinging” for 23 years.
Before going online, he would post ads in “swinger magazines,” sometimes waiting two to four months to set up a first meeting. Now his desires can be gratified almost instantly by posting ads online.
“While I’m open to a relationship, I’d prefer someone I can meet for no-strings mutual sexual pleasure on a continuing basis,” he says.
Alfred’s new online ads generally attract several interested women (“I’m a seller in a buyer’s market,” he says proudly).
He usually hooks up with married women, but says there are plenty of singles who don’t mind that he’s already spoken for.
Unfortunately, while these spouses are sowing their wild oats, there’s likely to be someone at home who’s getting hurt.
John LaSage, 43, from California, could attest to that – his wife left him and his two teenage daughters to take off with an Internet boyfriend.
The experience led him to create chatcheaters.com – a Web site designed to help dissuade potential cheaters and to comfort those who’ve been hurt by them.
“Chatting is OK, cheating is not,” says LaSage.
“People should realize how quickly relationships can form online. Flirting can lead to real-world affairs.”
If you suspect your spouse of having an online affair, “Bring the issue out into the open,” he says.
“Look out for the warning signs” – like excessive Internet use, new email accounts, turning off the computer when you walk in the room.
“If you just want a sexual hit, you can masturbate a lot quicker than having an affair,” she says.
“But it’s about gratification. They want someone to find them attractive, someone to want them passionately.”
But not every married person who’s gone the online route has found the affair of their dreams.
Wayne, a 49-year-old man from New Jersey, complains that his inbox is usually cluttered with undesirable partners and a fair share of transsexuals and cross-dressers.
But that may be just the ticket for a 34-year-old Lower East Side “Rockerdude” who advertises online that he’s hoping to make sweet music with men, women – and anything in between.
“Yes, I am married, but we have a very liberal, open-minded relationship – so be brave,” he writes.
Technorati Tags: Adultery, Internet dating, adult dating, swinger
Singles Guide To Flirting
February 12th, 2007 by The BabeFlirting requires a certain degree of confidence and enthusiasm. Other singles can smell nerves from a mile off, so it is important to build up your confidence and come across as positive if you want to get on to the dating circuit. Don’t be corny, though. When you talk to other singles, just make simple conversation with them. Chat, say hello, talk about work, sport, TV – whatever interests you. Dating is so much easier if you can have a pleasant conversation with your date – and this type of flirting will enable you to find out whether you can.
Also, don’t be afraid to make the first move when flirting. You might be waiting forever if you expect other singles to come over and talk to you. Take control of the situation and be the ‘flirter’ in stead of the ‘flirtee’. You will find that many other singles will like this type of confidence and the straight-forward attitude and you may find that you end up with several singles who are interested in dating you.
You should be careful not to mistake confidence and flirting with arrogance. Make sure that once you have started chatting with other singles, you also listen to what they have to say as well. Nobody will be interested in dating a big-headed person that appears interested only in themselves. Dating and flirting are both fine arts, and singles need to learn to strike the balance to get maximum effect.
Finally, try and express your confidence through what your facial expression as well. Don’t be afraid to smile, wink, and laugh. Let the other singles know that you are enjoying yourself and that you enjoy being a part of the dating scene. This confidence will attract the positive attention of other singles.