My therapist and I both feel I’m making great progress
February 22nd, 2007 by The Babe
Dear Ellie: I made a huge mistake five months ago and cheated on my boyfriend of seven months with someone from my past. It was a one-night thing that my boyfriend found out about shortly before we were to move across the country together. We decided after a lot of tears and soul searching to work things out; I entered therapy to try to find the cause of my infidelity and moved out west. Things were fine until my boyfriend saw an online chat I had with a longtime friend - he was making sexual innuendos and I didn’t tell him to stop (I just changed the subject). We broke up because my ex felt he couldn’t trust me. My therapist and I both feel I’m making great progress, but my ex still sees me in a negative light. I’ve invited him to come to counseling with me so we could work on this together, but he refuses. I want so badly to fix my mistake, or should I just let it go?
Dear Lost Out: You’re wise to probe what caused you to cheat; the learning will help you in any future relationship. However, you may have to accept the end of this one. Do not keep pursuing your ex-boyfriend; let him know that you’ll respect his wishes but the door is open for him to make contact. If he does want to renew the relationship in a while, I suggest you start with some counseling together to talk about trust and how to move forward without being shadowed by this past mistake.
