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Start A Mass
Dating Campaign
By Rinatta Paries
We
all know singles who are burned out on dating. Perhaps you are one of them. Perhaps you have thrown yourself into
the dating world more than once, looking for that Mr. or Ms.
Right, only to come up empty handed and disappointed.
And so, "the heck with dating," you say. If Mr. or Ms. Right
is going to find me, he or she will have to find me in my
life. And you are right. Searching for a partner -- be it
Internet dating, personals, dating services, etc. -- rarely
facilitates meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. And if it doesn't give
you what you want, why bother, right?
Hold on to your seat, because I am about to tell you why you
should run, not walk, to your nearest mass dating
opportunity if you are ever to me meet Mr. or Ms. Right.
Mass dating for the purpose of this article is any venue
offering you the opportunity to meet more than one person at
a time, such as Internet dating sites, dating events,
singles ads, etc.
"Mass dating has sharpened my intuition," said Janet, a
client of mine who values mass dating opportunities. "I can learn quickly whether or not someone is good for me, which
means I don't have to date the wrong people for extended
periods of time and then deal with a break up!"
Mass dating should not be pursued with the goal of finding
your Mr. or Ms. Right. But it does offer some other
extremely valuable benefits.
1. See who you attract.
One of the main reasons to do a lot of dating is to see who
you attract. This is a great test of how close you are to
meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. The people who will pick you out
on a dating website, from an ad or in a crowded room full of
singles, will remarkably resemble the types of people you
will attract in a real life situation.
If you find you are attracting people who remind you of your
past relationships or who are not a good match, take it as
an opportunity to do some soul searching. Look into what in
you is attracting incompatible mates.
2. See who you are attracted to.
Mass dating is a great way to figure out who you are
attracted to. Just because you're initially attracted to
someone does not necessarily mean he or she is someone with
whom you can build a good relationship. Mass dating allows
you to discover patterns in your attraction, to see real
live examples of your tendencies in relationships.
Are you drawn to people who are unavailable, or are you
drawn to people who deeply want a relationship? If it is the
former, delve deeply into what attracts you to people who
are not available. In this exploration, you will find the
key to attracting the kind of mate you crave.
3. Learn about yourself.
Mass dating is a great arena to learn about yourself. There
is no greater power than knowledge. Armed with knowledge,
you can choose to change behavior that does not serve you.
Learn how you behave when you first meet someone. Learn how
you behave on a date. Learn how much or how little you
reveal about yourself. Learn whether you are more interested
in yourself or the other person. Learn what happens when you
are attracted to someone. Then, transform what you don't
like and what does not serve you.
4. Get comfortable.
Not everyone is comfortable with dating. In fact, most
people are uncomfortable, especially when they feel
attracted to the person they are with. Mass dating is a
great way to learn to get comfortable, which is a pretty
important thing.
If you can be comfortable on a date, you can be keenly in
touch with your feelings and can detect who you are on a
date with. When calm, you can distinguish a person who wants
a relationship from a person who will get close quickly but
will burn out quickly.
5. Practice setting boundaries.
Are you comfortable with gently setting boundaries? Are you
comfortable saying yes or no to something, and feeling the
conversation and the relationship can continue unharmed?
Dating many people, many times, can train you to set
boundaries in a firm yet gentle way.
Why are boundaries important? Boundaries show self-respect.
Boundaries give you the safety to venture into a
relationship and know you will take care of you no matter
what. Date a lot, and practice setting boundaries without
hurting or shocking people.
6. Disprove your beliefs.
Here is a great way to use mass dating. Disprove whatever
you believe about the opposite sex. Decide to attract, meet,
and date people who are opposite or different from what you
believe most of the opposite sex to be.
For example, if you believe most men cannot communicate
deeply, decide to meet many men who yearn for deep, soulful
conversations. Or if you believe most women have become hard
and cutting, decide to meet many women who are gentle and
loving.
If you do not meet people who disprove your beliefs, you are
probably attached to the world being exactly how you think
it is. Perhaps it is time to consider some radical actions
to break up your belief systems.
7. Get a sense of abundance of possibilities.
Many singles, busy in their professional lives and with
their friends and families, feel a deep sense of scarcity
regarding meeting a compatible mate. Mass dating is great
for this sort of thing.
When you get out there with the purpose of dating on a wide
scale, you start to see many other singles, available and
interested in a relationship. Over time, if you continue to
date, you will feel a sense of abundance. By seeing
abundance, you can start to trust again that you will meet
your Mr. or Ms. Right.
8. Feel desirable.
It's not hard to feel wanted and desirable when you are not
spending much time with the opposite sex. And feeling
unwanted and undesirable dims your light, makes you less
attractive, lowers your self-esteem, and perhaps even makes
you want to hide. Not a great thing if you are ever to
attract Mr. or Ms. Right.
If you get out there enough, you will attract many, many
people who will be interested in dating you. It's a great
tonic for your self esteem.
9. Expand your community.
If you are to meet Mr. or Ms. Right, it is a good idea to
widen your community. And if you are growing and changing,
upgrading your community to match the new you is a great
idea as well.
Mass dating could be just the thing for expanding your
community. Approach dating as a way to meet new people and form
relationships, instead of a way to form the
relationship. Many great friendships, business leads, and
dating a friend of a friend have come out of mass dating.
10. Have fun!
Dating is an adult playground. When you date, you go to nice
places, listen to music, dance, go to plays, dinner, movies,
etc. you engage in activities that most of us do not make
much time for in our busy lives.
If you are feeling a lack of fun in your life, go out and start dating and
playing. It will make your life satisfaction quotient go up, and in turn,
will make you very attractive to your Mr. or Ms. Right.
This
article courtesy of "Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach
you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy
partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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